Blogs

How to Use Contextual Science to Super Charge Your Leadership Training

I recently heard of a leadership programme where it is expected that half way through the programme participants will contact the CEO of their large organisation to complain. They are doubtful about the usefulness of the programme and feel overwhelmed, stressed and angry. The CEO apparently responds by telling them to 'suck it up'. Why does he tell them this? Because he sees that, in the long run, the programme works - the majority of participants do become better leaders after the programme. They are wiser, more courageous and demonstrate more integrity.

We Are All Losers (Sometimes)--Part I

We use to think that bullying was the result of low self-esteem. Research is now showing the opposite is true. Bullies actually have high self-esteem. Bullying behavior is a way for them to take the attention off of their own sense of shame and put it onto someone else. And bullies get real good at finding this weakness in others so when they are able to do this successfully, their self-esteem is elevated. They feel better about themselves when they put others down, so they keep doing it.

We Are All Losers (Sometimes)--Part II

As promised, I am back with more on self-compassion. To recap, in determining measures of emotional health, self-compassion is a healthier replacement for self-esteem, which I no longer hold in very high esteem. Self-compassion is a mindful comparison to the ego driven façade of pretending you are better than you really are. This sounds harsh as I am typing it, but I am also a product of this culture where it seems like an insult to be regarded as average or less than perfect.

Beginner's Mind

In the practice of Zen there is a virtue to which we aspire called called Beginner’s Mind. It is like having the non-reactive mind of a child, innocent of prejudices, expectations, preconceived ideas, or bias. In this culture, we are rewarded for being experts. What is the value of expertise?

Go. Slow.

Yesterday, as I was about to leave the coffee shop to get to my office for an afternoon appointment, I noticed my right front tire was completely flat. My first thought was to call my client to reschedule, but I did not have his phone number on me, so I called a taxi.

I and Love and You

Remember how hard it was at the beginning of the relationship to utter these three words? These words were once so powerful that when used prematurely have led to the demise of the relationship altogether. The same demise resulted when they were not spoken at all and could have saved the relationship. Male and female confidants were often burdened with the responsibility of sages in advising their friends about when to say it or how to respond. It was once a pretty big deal.

Spilled Milk

In The Mindful Way Through Depression, to illustrate how we tend to make problems bigger than they originally are, the authors use the following illustration, which I will paraphrase here (taking creative liberties with all due respect):

You Are a Unique and Beautiful Snowflake (Just Like Everybody Else)

The self-esteem movement has taught us that in order to be of any worth, we have to convince ourselves that we are more important than we really are. Unfortunately, some people think that they have to be more important than other people. Self-esteem can be a slippery slope. Narcissists have great self-esteem. So do bullies.

The Cost of Being Right

It’s a classic. Of all the themes in the history of relational strife, the I’m Right, You’re Wrong story is by far the most common. And like many things common, we often take it for granted or overlook the magnitude of its influence. When couples enter into therapy together, it may be a hidden goal for each of them to convince their therapist that they are right and the other is wrong. They demonstrate this in many ways, either subtly or in more painfully blatant ways.

Your Brain on Therapy

What does therapy actually do? How does it work? Does anyone really ever change? The field of neuroscience has exploded in recent years, revealing a number of findings about the human brain; how it develops, how it operates, and how it changes. Neuroplasticity explains that the brain is not a rigid organ, but is malleable, and changes throughout life, both in structure and function. This change happens through our experience. We actively change our brains by the way we respond to our environment.

Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain: Can You Tell the Difference?

Nobody likes pain. It makes sense that we make every attempt to avoid it or make it go away. That’s just part of being human. But why do some humans seem to have less of it than others? There are two types of pain: clean pain and dirty pain. We don’t have a whole lot of choice about our clean pain. But we can create dreadful amounts of dirty pain throughout our lives in reaction to the clean pain.

When Problem-Solving Becomes a Problem

Many people come to therapy wanting to know why they have certain problems. They’ve been struggling with this problem for a long time and they want to understand why, because if they could just figure out the cause of the problem, they might be able to solve it. They might say something along the lines of:

Burping the Buddha

My life changed forever on February 11, 2012, the day my daughter Sofia was born. She has taught me and challenged me more in the last five weeks about mindfulness than I ever learned on a cushion with limited distractions. It’s easy to meditate in silence, when you are in control of your own schedule. These days my schedule is her schedule, which is still fairly unpredictable, and it’s rarely silent for very long. If I were to sit now to meditate, I’m almost certain I would fall asleep within seconds.

If You Don't Want It, You've Got It

Several clients over the years have come to me with the task of helping them cope with some emotional problem. It appears that this is a widely held expectation for counseling. It makes sense that people want to rid themselves of the problems they are having, or at least reduce them, because this is how we solve problems in the external world. For example, if it is raining and you don’t like getting wet, you might run for shelter, or stay inside. What many do not understand is that, in the long run, this strategy is ultimately ineffective when it comes to internal experiences.

Abandoning Hope

Suzuki Roshi once said that life is like getting into a boat that you know is eventually going to sink. We are all technically alive, but not necessarily by choice. We didn’t choose to be born and our hearts beat indifferent to our voluntary efforts. Being alive by choice is another story and this is what Suzuki Roshi was talking about. Step one is knowing that this is all going to end, that one day our efforts and all we’ve worked for will fade away, and not just biological death, but each and every moment of our life, which dies and is transformed into a new moment.

Be. Here. Now. Workshop June/July 2012 6-session Awareness Techniques Workshop for Counselors Integrates ACT

Summer is here and so are opportunities for professional development! If you are near New York City this June and July and wish to increase your skills as a counselor, learning new evidence-based therapy techniques, integrate Mindfulness practices into your work with clients with PTSD or histories of trauma, this workshop is for you!

ACT on Your Dreams: Beyond the Vision Board

I am facilitating a new workshop based on ACT for the general public. It is going to be fun and interactive. As the founder of Creating Your Beyond, I want to offer a workshop that will take people beyond the vision board of what they dream about to committed action based on those dreams. It will become a standard offering at Creating Your Beyond, LLC

 

Healing Hand / Compassion to self

Hi, I am looking for  a script,to use as a guide,  for an exercise I completed in a workshop. The exercise was about compasssion to self and, from memory, related to placing a hand on a part of your body and holding it gently like you would  a crying baby or whimpering puppy. Can anyone help out with this?  cherie.haig@bigpond.com    Cheers, Cherie

Funksjonell kontekstualisme

Vi starter i kjelleren for å fortsette med metaforen som avsluttet forrige innlegg. Her finner vi grunnmuren huset står på: de filosofiske antagelsene. Det har blitt fremhevet av utviklerne av ACT at å avklare de filosofiske grunnantagelsene er viktig for den totalt helheten av ACT modellen

If You Knew You Would Succeed, You Could Enjoy The Journey

For many years I had this quote on my wall.

'If You Knew You Would Suceed, You Could Enjoy The Journey'

It was a reminder that I have a tendency to waste the current moment worrying about the future.

I would have enjoyed medical school much more, if I had known that I would pass all of my exams ( I did just sneak through pharmacology with a bare pass but that is another story!).

Successful People Often Feel Bad Too

For most of my adult life I have worked in roles where people told me the truth about how they felt. This privilege has meant that I know an important secret. The secret is that most of us have good days and bad days; good weeks and bad weeks, sometimes even good days and bad months. When I worked as a psychiatrist I thought that only my clients and I felt like this. But then I moved into executive coaching and discovered it was also true of people who, on the outside, look very successful.

En kort introduksjon - Aksept og forpliktelsesterapi

Aksept- og forpliktelsesterapi (ACT) er en del av det Stephen Hayes (2004) kaller den kognitiv-atferdmessige (eng: Cognitive behavioral) tradisjonen. Dette er en bred definisjon som blant annet omfavner kognitiv terapi, kognitiv atferdsterapi, tradisjonell atferdsanalyse, klinisk atferdsanalyse. Denne tradisjonen hadde sitt opphav i radikal behaviorismen og oppsto i motsetning til psykoanalyen og ble populær på 1960-tallet.

ACT in the workplace

I am reasonably new to ACT, still skilling up. However, I am looking at doing some group sessions with my work colleagues. The aim is to introduce them to ACT and the benefits of its practice with a view to hopefully increasing their own self awareness and consequently improve communication skills and workplace relationships. Has anyone done this and if so what has been your experience? or does anyone have any suggestions or tips?

I am both excited and a little daunted but determind not to fuse with those unhelpful thoughts.

Aksept og forpliktelsesterapi og relational frame theory på norsk!

I denne bloggen vil jeg ha som mål å formidle aksept og forpliktelsesterapi (ACT) og relational frame theory (RFT) på norsk med hovedfokus på yrkesutøvere med en helse- og sosialfaglig utdanning. Jeg vil også legge ut mine (forsøk) på oversettelser av diverse instrumenter og skjema og vil veldig gjerne ha tilbakemeldinger på både innhold og oversettelser. Hvis noen har kompetanse til å teste validitet/reliabilitet på norsk mottas hjelpen med stor takk.

ACT metaphors vs Milton Erickson hypnotherapy

The more I think and work with ACT and metaphors the more I remember hypnotherapy (Milton Erickson style). I am not aware that this issue has ben adressed so far, but I am german and I do not have access to all things that have been published. Does anybody know ACT literature or articles that discuss this issue?

Stephan Hoyndorf, private practice, Stuttgart, Germany   

ACT and occupational health

Dear ACBS members,

I'm a psychologist from Sweden who recently started working in the occupational health field.

Is there any good resources regarding "burnout" or "exhaustion". I meet a lot of clients with heavy stress and I work with them mostly in individual therapy. Maybe there's someone else who is using the ACT-perspective in this kind of work? Maybe even in Sweden? I'm not looking for resources for ACT at Work (for the moment).

Thanks in advance.

 

Henric Hagelberg

Room mate wanted

Hi,

I'm looking for a female who would like to share a room at the Marriott Bethesda North. I have the room from 7/21-7/25 and am a counselor/art therapist from Ohio. Please email me at vickimilnark@yahoo.com if interested. Thanks!

Mindfulness and the Agony of de Feet

So in the past year I have taken up running in those Vibram 5-Finger funky toe-shoes. There is a long back story about that which I won’t get into here, but am happy to geek out about if you’re interested. The main problem with these shoes – besides never being able to be taken seriously whilst wearing them – is that when running on the trail there is no cushioning between the stony surface and my flesh and bone soles.

Marching Confidently into the Unknown

Many clients come in to therapy looking to get more self-confidence so that they will then be able to do things they would like to do – get out socially, be more assertive at work, go out on dates, etc. This position is quite reasonable in the sense that it will likely be much easier to do something if you feel that your chances of doing it well, correctly, perfectly, etc are very high, and your chances of messing things up completely and looking like a buffoon are low.

Web based ACT tools.

Syndicate content