We use to think that bullying was the result of low self-esteem. Research is now showing the opposite is true. Bullies actually have high self-esteem. Bullying behavior is a way for them to take…
As promised, I am back with more on self-compassion. To recap, in determining measures of emotional health, self-compassion is a healthier replacement for self-esteem, which I no longer hold in…
In the practice of Zen there is a virtue to which we aspire called called Beginner’s Mind. It is like having the non-reactive mind of a child, innocent of prejudices, expectations,…
Yesterday, as I was about to leave the coffee shop to get to my office for an afternoon appointment, I noticed my right front tire was completely flat. My first thought was to call my client to…
Remember how hard it was at the beginning of the relationship to utter these three words? These words were once so powerful that when used prematurely have led to the demise of the relationship…
In The Mindful Way Through Depression, to illustrate how we tend to make problems bigger than they originally are, the authors use the following illustration, which I will paraphrase here (taking…
The self-esteem movement has taught us that in order to be of any worth, we have to convince ourselves that we are more important than we really are. Unfortunately, some people think that they…
It’s a classic. Of all the themes in the history of relational strife, the I’m Right, You’re Wrong story is by far the most common. And like many things common, we often take it…
What does therapy actually do? How does it work? Does anyone really ever change? The field of neuroscience has exploded in recent years, revealing a number of findings about the human brain; how…
Nobody likes pain. It makes sense that we make every attempt to avoid it or make it go away. That’s just part of being human. But why do some humans seem to have less of it than others?…