I work with children mostly between 8 and 13 years of age, many who have autism and struggle to navigate the social world - with dificulties like how to interpret and respond to others, how to frame theirs or others' communication - often they lack context from which to confidently respond and/or react to people.
I do a lot of teaching of flexibility vs. rigid thinking in social and peer situations. In my work I have shared the idea of the willow tree being strong becasue it is flexible and bends in the wind and storms, thus it's indestructable, yet the mighty oak, tall and rigid, can be brought down by a strong wind and a well-placed bolt of lightening, really not very strong ....
Lately I've added a new slant to this wisdom with a Windmill Metaphor.
Think of a windmill, tall, sleek, majestic, especially the modern ones. Not only does a windmill survive a fierce storm, but it most likely LOVES a good strong wind. In fact, the stronger the wind, the more power it generates - and this power is a completely "good power." It makes electricity that we all use, yet in a way that is gentle and does not hurt; it is soft, fluid, quiet (doesn't yell, scream, or cry) it doesn't damage the enviornment or pollute (doesn't punch, kick, or hit ) --- all the windmill needs is the most natural of all elements, the limitless wind (no resistance, only acceptance).
I use the windmill metaphor when working with kids who are being picked on or when they don't know how to respond to someone being mean or nasty. Of course, we all know violence isn't the answer, in fact in the ACT playbook, that which you resist only becomes stronger (think: inner monster/demon or our internal or external tug of war, right?)
In order to beat the monster, one must lay down the rope and stop pulling.
- I feel the windmill image goes a step further: Put down the rope, stop fighting/resisting, and be like a windmill.
The windmill metaphor asks: "How can you use that graceful and limitless energy to give yourself the might and power you need?" In fact, I have come up with an acronym for this:
"WWAWD"?
Kids like this imagery and they have no problem with the concept. It's simple, we all love windmills, they thrive off of the mightiest winds (bullies, mean people), yet just like a willow tree, they offer up no resistance. In fact, a windmill drawing session could also be easy to produce, drawing with the client a series of windmills while envisioning the quiet and confident power they hold for us.
- They just turn, and turn, and turn -
- Graceful, with no extra effort -
- Soft and yeilding, yet tall and strong -