How can people live with intention and vibrancy when they stand to lose someone they love — or perhaps even their own life?
The cultural messages we receive about death don’t often equip us to answer that question. We’re taught not to talk about it, to treat it as taboo, and to guard ourselves against the pain it can cause.
So, while loss is a reality of human experience, few people have effective tools for coping when they encounter it.
They often get stuck worrying about the future, or caught ruminating on the past. They become unmoored from the present moment, where life is really lived and where meaning and vitality lie.
For the same cultural reasons, most clinicians have little training in how to support those facing this issue.
Even when clients come in with the express purpose of processing the death of a loved one or dealing with news of their own life-threatening diagnosis, clinicians often struggle to see a way forward.
Many find themselves colluding with broader cultural messages to circumvent the content or protect the client from their feelings.
They might avoid bringing it up in sessions or implicitly encourage the client to distract themselves from thinking about it. Or, on the other hand, they may try to help the client see the bright side or reasons why they shouldn’t be afraid.
These courses of action are well-intentioned, but they’re aimed at achieving a specific outcome: changing how the client feels about their situation.
Not only does this kind of approach rarely work — it’s also not required in order for the client to live with more intention and vitality when it matters most.
When the focus is instead on process, it allows therapy to transcend the pursuit of momentary relief, helping clients take intentional actions that support their values and make life vibrant, even in the face of loss.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) offers an effective, process-based approach with these goals in mind. Using the model, clinicians can help clients develop important skills that allow them to:
- Discriminate between their thoughts and feelings about death and the actual event of death itself, so they can spend less time trapped in their mind and more time living in the here-and-now
- Process grief and other difficult experiences by making space for them rather than engaging in avoidant behaviors, such as cycles of worry or dwelling on past choices
- Explore how to live meaningfully each day when time is short or they’ve lost someone they love instead of spending weeks, months, or even years waiting to feel differently about a painful situation
These are some of the main skills you’ll learn how to teach in ACT for Grief and End-of-Life, a new live online course taught by Dr. Jennifer Gregg.
With the tools and process-based approach you’ll learn, you can help clients navigate the toughest moments of their lives while encouraging them to contact meaning and vitality in every day.