Rewire Your Inner Mind: A Playful Path to Healing with IFS and ACT for Young ACA Souls (The U-Model in Action)

Rewire Your Inner Mind:

A Playful Path to Healing with IFS and ACT for Young ACA Souls

(The U-Model in Action)

Dr. Rivka Edery, Psy.D., M.S.W., L.C.S.W., M-RAS

IFS Practitioner Level I | Approved ASWB Provider

Level III Certification in Somatic Parts | Level II Trauma Certification

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.rivkaedery.com

©Edery House Press

Introduction

Suppose you grew up in a home shadowed by alcoholism or dysfunction. In that case, you might feel like you’re carrying a heavy trunk of emotional props. Habits like smoothing over conflicts, dodging drama, aggressively opposing and defiant, or wrestling with an inner voice that whispers, “You’re not enough.” These aren’t flaws; they are the survival skills of your inner world. As an Adult Child of Alcoholics or Dysfunctional Families (ACA), while these skills were essential for survival, they can leave you feeling stuck and isolated. 

Enter Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). These are two science-backed approaches that act like a wise director and a lively choreographer. As highly experienced, compassionate, evidence-based powerhouses, they are ready to transform your inner theatre from a tense drama into a values-led production.  With a vibrant stage metaphor and the latest neuroscience, let’s explore how these therapies can help you take center stage in your own life. 

The U-Model: A Framework for Trauma Recovery

Developed by the author, Dr. Rivka Edery, the U-Model integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) across three core phases. The first phase is the Understanding & Uncovering (exploring parts and their past dysfunction). The second phase is the Unburdening & Self-Reconnection (healing parts via the core Self). The third phase is the Unfolding & Valued Action (pursuing values-driven behavior). Through seven stages: 1) present-moment awareness, 2) acceptance, 3) cognitive defusion, 4) self-as-context, 5) values clarification, 6) committed action, and 7) ongoing self-reflection, it fosters psychological flexibility and self-awareness for trauma recovery.

The ACA Stage: Your Protectors, the Brain’s Loyal Crew

Growing up in a dysfunctional family is like performing in a play where the script flips without warning. Your brain, the ultimate stage manager, created protectors. These are sub-personalities in IFS terms, and their job is to keep you safe. This is your inner stage crew, each with a role shaped by early stress. 

Managers: 

• These crew members work overtime to keep the show running smoothly.
• The Perfectionist polishes every detail to avoid criticism, while the Peacemaker juggles everyone’s needs to prevent conflict.
• The Combatant sees everything as a potential threat to war against, keeping the system in a highly defensive, always-on-alert state.
• These roles rely on the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (dlPFC), your brain’s planning hub, which releases dopamine, a feel-good chemical.
• When you avoid a threat, reinforcing these habits via chronic avoidance feels like they are essential for safety (Davidson & McEwen, 2020). 

Firefighters: 

• When painful emotions flare like a stage fire, these parts leap into action.
• The Couch Potato dims the lights with streaming binges, while the Emotional Numbness part slips through a trapdoor to dodge feelings.
• The amygdala drives these reactive parts, your brain’s alarm system, which floods your system with cortisol.  This is the stress hormone to escape emotional pain fast (LeDoux & Pine, 2021).
• These protectors were wired when your young brain’s limbic system, the amygdala and hippocampus (your memory center), adapted to chronic stress.
• An overactive amygdala, pumping cortisol, trains parts like the Inner Critic to stay vigilant, storing fear-based memories in the hippocampus (Teicher et al., 2021).
• If love felt scarce, your Achiever part chased dopamine hits in the nucleus accumbens, your brain’s reward center, through approval-seeking (Volkow et al., 2022).
• These loyal crew members are still on duty, shielding you from old wounds, even if your life's stage is unlike your family of origin.

IFS: Directing with Self-Energy, the Brain’s Warm Spotlight 

Picture your mind as a bustling theatre, with protectors scrambling to keep the production afloat. Internal Family Systems (IFS) invites you to step into the director’s chair, embodying Self-energy (‘9 C’s’). 

Self-energy is characterized by a compassionate presence that is:  

• calm,
• curious,
• clear,
• compassionate,
• confident,
• courageous,
• creative,
• connected,
• and makes conscious choices. 

This compassionate presence glows like a warm spotlight (Schwartz & Sweezy, 2020). This is your brain’s medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) at work, the region that fosters self-awareness and emotional balance. When you tap into Self-energy, your brain releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and serotonin (the calm stabilizer), creating a soothing effect across your nervous system (Siegel, 2021). IFS encourages you to approach your protectors with kindness: “Hello, Perfectionist. I see you. What are you afraid would happen if we relaxed?” 

By listening with Self-energy, you activate the mPFC, which quiets the amygdala’s cortisol-fuelled alarms. This strengthens neuroplasticity-your brain’s ability to rewire. This organically strengthens mPFC-limbic connections and integrates emotional memories for healing (Hanson, 2022).  As you show compassion, oxytocin flows, helping protectors trust your Self to lead so they can swap frantic roles for supportive ones. 

ACT: Dancing Through Emotions with Psychological Flexibility 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches your inner stage crew (thoughts and feelings) to tap-dance through emotional plot twists, embracing the rhythm instead of tripping over the set. ACT champions psychological flexibility.  This is the ability to stay open to your complex feelings while moving toward your values, the heart of your show (Hayes & Hofmann, 2021). Its core skills include accepting emotions, defusing from unhelpful thoughts, and connecting with your self-as-context (Open, Aware, Engaged). 

Self-as-context is the observing self that watches your inner play without getting swept into the drama. This concept mirrors IFS’s Self-energy, as both engage the mPFC’s metacognitive magic, balancing norepinephrine (the alertness chemical) to reduce impulsive reactions and boosting serotonin for calm (Fleming & Lau, 2020). For ACAs, this flexibility is a game-changer.  

When guilt surges after setting a boundary, the amygdala sends a cortisol jolt.  ACT’s acceptance move engages the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), your brain’s conflict manager, which releases serotonin to soothe the emotional storm (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2020). Defusion - seeing thoughts like “I’m not enough” as just flickering stage lights - eases the prefrontal cortex's workload, saving your brain's energy for value-driven actions that spark flow and meaning. 

The Grand Finale: A Rewired Stage 

Together, IFS and ACT create a neurochemical masterpiece for healing. 

Before: The ACA brain is often caught in a reactive loop. An emotional trigger fires the amygdala, spiking cortisol. Protectors then jump in with rigid coping tactics, like people-pleasing, rage, or numbing out. 

After: IFS’s Self-energy, powered by the mPFC, releases oxytocin and serotonin to calm the amygdala. ACT’s psychological flexibility, via the ACC, helps you navigate complicated feelings and thoughts without getting stuck. Your protectors evolve from frantic stagehands into a flexible ensemble, trusting your Self to direct the show. This cooperation fosters profound neuroplasticity. You’re not just managing an old script; you’re creating a vibrant new performance where your parts can work cooperatively (Hanson, 2022).  This is significantly more workable, functional, and values-driven.

A Vivid Vision: Your Inner Theatre’s Blockbuster 

Imagine your mind as a glittering theatre. The Perfectionist, fuelled by dlPFC dopamine, fusses over every prop. The Firefighter, driven by amygdala cortisol, readies a trapdoor for emotional flares. IFS hosts a sparkling festival where your Self-energy director, glowing with mPFC-driven oxytocin, listens to each part’s story. The Inner Critic, tied to hippocampal shame, relaxes as serotonin flows, becoming a wise narrator. ACT equips your crew with tap shoes, teaching them to dance through cortisol spikes while chasing your values, lit by nucleus accumbens dopamine. Your ensemble shifts from chaos to a blockbuster performance, directed by your radiant Self. 

Practical Steps for Your Premiere 

You are not simply a flawed script. You have internal parts that show dedication and determination. These parts play roles within your inner family system, which is organized similarly to external family structures. Each part aligns with specific principles.

Here’s how to start: 

Meet a Part: Feeling anxious? Pause and ask, “Which crew member is here?” Name it (like the “Worried Prompter”) and get curious about its role. This simple act of acknowledgment can begin to calm the amygdala. 

Try an ACT Dance Step: When a thought like “I’m not enough” appears, say to yourself, “I’m noticing the thought that I’m not enough.” This defusion trick creates space and lets you choose your next move. 

A Kind Message: Spend 5 minutes journaling a kind message to your Worried Prompter part (or any part that needs a kind message).

Follow Your Footlights: What matters to you—creativity, connection? Take one tiny step, like doodling for five minutes or texting a friend, to spark value-driven dopamine. 

Find a co-director: A therapist trained in IFS or ACT is like a skilled stagecoach, guiding your neural rewiring in a safe and supportive space. 

The Final Bow: You Are the Star 

Being an ACA can feel like starring in someone else’s chaotic play. IFS and ACT hand you the director’s megaphone. Your protectors don't need to run the show forever. By accessing your Self and building psychological flexibility, you leverage your brain's neuroplasticity to rewrite old scripts for resilience, connection, and meaning. Through IFS and ACT, you can rewire neural pathways to transform past coping into strengths, building a future rooted in self-awareness and purpose.

Glossary of Terms

This glossary explains key terms in the U-Model chart for clarity.

ACC (Anterior Cingulate Cortex): A brain region that supports attention, emotional regulation, and conflict monitoring, linked to ACT’s psychological flexibility. It acts like a brain referee, helping balance emotions and focus on values. 

Achiever: An inner role, often an IFS Manager, that seeks external validation or success to feel worthy, driven by dopamine in the nucleus accumbens. Example: Relentlessly pursuing praise or achievements. 

ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): A therapy model promoting psychological flexibility through accepting emotions, detaching from unhelpful thoughts, and acting on personal values. It helps you live purposefully despite challenges. 

ACT Dance Step: A U-Model metaphor for ACT practices like acceptance or value-driven actions, guiding flexible responses to challenges. Example: Choosing actions aligned with your values, like steps in a dance. 

After (IFS & ACT): A transformed state achieved through IFS and ACT, marked by flexible, compassionate emotional regulation led by the Self, supported by the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), serotonin, and oxytocin. It fosters resilience, connection, and joy. 

Amygdala: A brain structure that processes emotions like fear and stress, triggering cortisol via the HPA axis in reactive states. It’s the brain’s alarm system, activating during perceived threats. 

Before (ACA Brain): A reactive, survival-driven state, often tied to trauma or Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), where the brain uses rigid coping mechanisms like people-pleasing or numbing, driven by the amygdala and cortisol. 

Cortisol: A stress hormone released via the HPA axis, associated with Firefighters and the ACA Brain’s reactive state. It signals stress, spiking during fight-or-flight responses. 

Defusion: An ACT process of viewing thoughts as passing mental events, not facts, reducing their emotional impact. Example: Seeing “I’m a failure” as just a thought, not the truth, to focus on meaningful actions. 

dlPFC (Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex): A brain region involved in planning, decision-making, and impulse control, linked to Managers’ proactive behaviors. It’s the brain’s planner, maintaining control and safety. 

Firefighters: In IFS, reactive parts that reduce intense emotions or distress through impulsive behaviors like numbing or distraction. Example: A “Couch Potato” binge-watching TV to escape emotional pain. 

Follow Footlights: A U-Model metaphor for following guiding principles, like values or Self-energy, to navigate life’s challenges. It’s like stage lights illuminating a path to purposeful action. 

HPA Axis (Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis): The body’s stress response system, releasing cortisol during stress or threat, often overactive in trauma or reactive states like the ACA Brain. 

IFS (Internal Family Systems): A therapy model viewing the mind as a system of parts (e.g., Managers, Firefighters) and a core Self that leads with compassion when unburdened. It harmonizes inner roles like a director guiding actors. 

Managers: In IFS, protective parts that proactively control behavior to prevent emotional pain or vulnerability, ensuring safety and stability. Example: A Perfectionist avoiding criticism or a Peacemaker preventing conflict. 

mPFC (Medial Prefrontal Cortex): A brain region supporting self-awareness, emotional regulation, and compassion, linked to IFS Self-energy and ACT’s Self-as-context. It enables calm, thoughtful responses. 

Norepinephrine: A neurotransmitter tied to alertness and stress response, linked to ACT’s flexibility and Self-as-context. It’s the brain’s “focus” chemical, aiding responsiveness. 

Nucleus Accumbens: A brain region involved in reward and motivation, linked to dopamine and the Achiever’s approval-seeking behavior. It drives the pursuit of rewards like praise. 

Oxytocin (Speculative): A hormone linked to bonding and trust, hypothesized in the U-Model to support Self-energy and the “After” state. It may promote calm and connection, though research is ongoing. 

Practical Steps: U-Model strategies combining IFS (e.g., dialoguing with a part) and ACT (e.g., value-driven actions) to rewire neural patterns and calm triggers. Example: Meeting a “Worried Prompter” part or acting on values with a therapist’s guidance. 

Rewire Your Inner Stage: A U-Model metaphor for transforming emotional and behavioral patterns using IFS, ACT, and neuroscience, shifting from reactive chaos to intentional self-leadership. 

Self-as-context: In ACT, the observing self, a perspective where you notice thoughts and feelings without being defined by them, fostering detachment from inner drama. It’s like being the audience of your mind’s play, not an IFS part. 

Self-energy (9 C’s): In IFS, the core Self’s compassionate presence, defined by nine qualities: calm, curious, clear, compassionate, confident, courageous, creative, connected, and conscious choices (an author-specific addition to the standard 8 C’s). It promotes emotional balance and healing. 

Serotonin: A neurotransmitter that regulates mood and emotional balance, linked to Self-energy and ACT processes. It’s the brain’s “mood stabilizer,” supporting calm and clarity. 

U-Model: An integrated therapeutic approach combining IFS, ACT, and neuroscience to transform reactive coping into flexible, compassionate self-leadership, mapping inner parts to brain chemistry for healing. 

Bibliography

Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2020). Social influences on neuroplasticity: Stress and interventions to promote well-being. Nature Neuroscience, 23 (5), 532–537. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41593-020-0614-5 

Fleming, S. M., & Lau, H. C. (2020). How to measure metacognition. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1564. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01564 

Hanson, R. (2022). Neurodharma: New science, ancient wisdom, and seven practices of the highest happiness. Harmony Books.

Hayes, S. C., & Hofmann, S. G. (2021). Process-based CBT: The science and core clinical competencies of cognitive behavioral therapy. New Harbinger Publications. 

Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2020). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 80, 101893. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101893 

LeDoux, J. E., & Pine, D. S. (2021). Using neuroscience to help understand fear and anxiety: A two-system framework. American Journal of Psychiatry, 178 (10), 1009–1018. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2021.21030276 

Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2020). Internal family systems therapy (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. 

Siegel, D. J. (2021). IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the integration of self, identity, and belonging. W. W. Norton & Company. 

Teicher, M. H., Anderson, C. M., & Polcari, A. (2021). Childhood maltreatment is associated with altered fear circuitry and increased internalizing symptoms by late adolescence. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 118 (47), e2106460118. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2106460118 

Volkow, N. D., Wise, R. A., & Baldwin, R. M. (2022). The dopamine motive system: Implications for drug and food addiction.  Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 23 (4), 209–222. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41583-022-00554-8 

Additional Resources

Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS)

https://contextualscience.org/

Internal Family Systems Institute (IFSI)

https://ifs-institute.com/

Beyond Acceptance: Your Inner Parts Welcome to an ACT & IFS Community, where you can continue conversations, share resources, and connect with peers: https://www.facebook.com/share/utKN6WT4Bgp6gAtW/

Journaling: Write a letter from your core Self to a part, expressing gratitude and care.

Meditation: 

• Insight Timer
• Headspace

• Calm

   

Author Biography

Dr. Rivka A. Edery, Psy.D., LCSW, brings over 16 years of expertise in complex trauma to her groundbreaking work as the creator of the U-Model, a transformative framework blending Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to foster psychological flexibility and healing. As the founder of Edery House Press and author of Trauma and Transformation: A 12-Step Guide, Dr. Edery is passionate about empowering individuals with accessible trauma recovery tools. She offers clinical counselling, professional supervision, and dynamic workshops to guide clients and clinicians toward resilience and growth.
Discover more at www.rivkaedery.com