Here is an article "Metaphors in ACT: Understanding how they work, Using them, and Creating your own" discussing the use of metaphors in ACT, from an RFT perspective, as well as from the perspective of the clinician. This article aims to help practitioners understand RFT in basic terms and to see how it applies directly to clinical work through the creation and use of metaphors. Jean-Louis Monestès and Matthieu Villatte authored the article, and interviewed Yvonne Barnes-Holmes (both a clinician and RFT researcher).

You can also read two books:

• Metaphor in Practice: A Professional's Guide to Using the Science of Language in Psychotherapy by Niklas Törneke M.D.
• The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner's Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Jill A. Stoddard Ph.D. and Niloofar Afari Ph.D.

The Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science (JCBS) of has articles about metaphors.

• Crego, A; Yela, J.R; Ozores-Pérez, R. (2024). A map of living: Moving through the variations of life with the guidance of metaphors. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 31, 100718.
• Foody, M., Barnes-Holmes, Y., Barnes-Holmes, D., Torneke, N., Luciano, C., Stewart, I., & McEnteggart, C. (2014). RFT for clinical use: The example of metaphor. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 3, 305-313.

If you are interested in learning more about the creation of metaphor from an RFT perspective, check out Ian Stewart's 2001 paper on the subject.

Many years ago, a friend of mine had the unfortunate experience of a leech attaching to her leg. Even though it was not easy and a pretty bad scene overall, she allowed the creepy creature to fill itself up and it eventually detached itself from her leg without further incident.

Our first intuition was to rip the leech off; however this could have caused toxic leech vomit to enter her system.

So, the same goes for any unwanted, nasty, and blood-sucking private experiences. While we want to act intuitively and engage in experiential avoidance (which most likely will contribute to the problem worsening later on) we have to learn that sometimes it is just best to OPEN UP to and ACCEPT the situation. Just like a leech, these experiences can be bothersome and painful to observe, but they won't kill you. Just thinking about this now, my friend must have engaged in a huge amount of defusion from leech-related thoughts during those 25 minutes.

Relatively new to ACT, I thought of this metaphor with clients who have a hard time with anxiety/intrusive thoughts:

Imagine you're at an auction where thoughts/feelings are being auctioned off. You're allowed to inspect the 'products' before the auction begins, observing what they're like, possible functions, even how you might categorize them. When the auction begins, you sit down and "positive" thoughts come up first, then later more difficult thoughts/emotions. Which thoughts/emotions do you want to bid on and how much are you willing to pay for them?

Often, the client will say "I don't want to pay anything for the negative ones", to which I'll reply "well it seems like you're paying a lot for them right now, what might be a reason for you doing that?".

As I said, I'm quite new to ACT so there may be aspects of this that are not precisely ACT-consistent, so any direction on that would be great.

Greetings I'm relatively new - Response submitted by mihail.m.nedkov on January 28, 2017.

Greetings

I'm relatively new to ACT too, but either way I'd like to share my thoughts on the metaphor you've crafted.

In my honest opinion, it's very good at having the person experience in a more evocative way the costs of clutching to certain thoughts. However, I think that this metaphor would suit work on defusion from the conceptualized self better.

Also, I suppose that the part with bidding on positive thoughts might fuel some experiential avoidance - "bid on the positive ones and they'll come more often / will become more believable / will manage to push the negative ones away" and if I were to use this metaphor, I'd drop this part.

Overall, you've created an excellent metaphor which allows for variations - e.g. bidding on eBay / bidding against your valued directions (for example something in the lines of "Do you think the life you'd like to lead / the person you strive to be would be the highest bidder on that thought? Why not?)

I have used this with couples and individuals who are hook around 'being right' or taking a position that does not necessarily align with their personal values.

"How has your mind tricked you into taking on the role as a defense lawyer for your family traditions?"

This seems to help people be less 'fused' with historical content they carry with them into relationships outside their family of orgin.

This is a hybrid of the Russ Harris' boat with monsters metaphor and weather as emotions metaphor to explain commitment to values. 

You have an indestructible ship that only you can steer. You have serveral compasses on your ship (that represent different values). Because there is nothing that can destroy your ship, and you're the only that can steer it, the only thing that moves your compass needle(s) away from the direction you need to go is you. The weather is your emotions- sometimes choppy, sometimes calm, but they can't actually move the boat. The animals and the sea monsters are your thoughts- sometimes scary, sometimes pleasant, sometimes beautiful, sometimes terrifying, but they can't actually move the boat. 

Bumblebees ('the struggle') Metaphor

By: Alexandra Zax & Dana Bakula

Purpose of the metaphor: 

This metaphor was created to help explain the “struggle” we can get caught up in with our mind to individuals across the lifespan (children to adults). This metaphor can help set up talking about how ACT is different from the ways we often think about dealing with stressors. This metaphor was created as an alternate option to metaphors like quicksand and ‘caught in a riptip’ that may be challenging for all children or adults with intellectual disability or cultural differences to relate to. 

Metaphor: 

Let’s think about our current approach to stress. When we experience stressful, scary, sad, or frustrating thoughts or feelings, our instinct is often to try to get those thoughts and feelings to go away. 

For instance, sometimes our instincts tell us to avoid these thoughts and feelings. Our mind wants to focus on something else or maybe try to control everything we can, to keep the scary thoughts from being true. We call this “the struggle.” 

This probably works some of the time, which is why we keep doing it! But there are costs to to the struggle. Also, somehow those thoughts and feeling always seem to come back. 

To understand the struggle better, let's think about an example. For this example, let’s think about what our normal reaction is around bees. Imagine you are walking outside, and you suddenly find yourself surrounded by a bunch of bees. 

Quick! What do your instinct tell you to do? Do you kick? Swat at the bees? Do you run? 

If your answer is to struggle (run, swat, kick, flail) then your instincts are the same as the rest of us! But - what happens if you starting swatting at the bees or start running away? 

Does that help you? 

That’s right – swatting and waving your hands at the bees makes them really angry and scared. That makes them want to sting you. Do you know what actually helps you escape a bunch of bees? 

Staying super still and calm like a statue. When you do this, the bees start to calm down and lose interest in you. You are still surrounded by the bees, that has not gone away – but they are no longer angry and you can slowly walk away to safety.

This is a simple presentation of an ACT exercise commonly used in therapy that illustrates the difficulty with getting caught up in one's thoughts, as well as a way to change one's relationship to them.

As part of my workshop in Parma on metaphors, I compiled many of the ACT metaphors with example "scripts" of how they are presented in session. Here it is.

This metaphor can be useful for anxious preoccupation with death. It is not perfect as it doesn't consider that no one knows what happens after physical death, and certainly doesn't take in to account the idea that consciousness exists prior to the advent of the brain. These are things I would discuss with the patient prior to using the metaphor.

Imagine that you are on a cruise ship, and you are out at sea during a fierce storm. The ship has hit an iceberg, and a hole has been torn in the hull. Water is seeping in, and the ship is slowly sinking. Although the ship is sinking slowly, the ship is still hundreds of miles away from the nearest land, and no other vessels are close enough to come to the rescue. 

The ship has a ballroom where a band is playing, and where people are eating, conversing, dancing, and generally having a good time.

The ship has a main deck, and outside on the deck it is bitterly cold and the wind and sleet make it a difficult place to be. Some people are on the deck looking for signs of land or other vessels, even though we know that there are none to be found. They are looking 'just in case'.

The ship has a lower deck where water is coming in. Some people are on the lower deck, collecting sea water in buckets, and running them up to the main deck to be thrown overboard in an attempt to bail out the ship. This is very hard and exhausting work.

The ship also has a set of cabins for the passengers to stay. Some people have returned to their cabins, closed the door, and are sitting with their fingers in their ears. 

What group of people do you think you are with on the ship? 

What needs to change for you to move into the ballroom so you can enjoy the time that you have on board? What would this look like for you?

Dr Matthew Jones
Swansea, UK

People get into Heroin or Morphine for all kinds of reasons. You can compare it to getting into boating. At first you are given free rides and you like it. Then you get your own boat and you enjoy your trips. But soon you find yourself adrift at sea attacked by pirates. You have to seek shelter in a shark infested archipelago, full of reefs, sandbanks, rocks and dangerous currents and things get really unpleasant and very scary.

The sensible thing to do now is to throw in your anchor (which is a good metaphor for the Methadone substitution program). You are still in the same territory but for now you steadied the boat and you are safe from running aground, drowning and beeing eaten by sharks.

Remember, at that point there is nothing wrong with that sea anchor (Methadone). Lifting it (reducing/stopping) will not by itself be of benefit to you. You are not making any progress by setting yourself adrift again in those dangerous waters. In this situation the anchor is not your problem, it is your salvation.

But over time you will want to move on. So you think about where to go from here, looking for a safe direction and a worthwhile goal.

Once you have made up your mind where you want to go, you plot a course out of the treacherous waters. Now your anchor has turned into a hindrance and lifting it (i.e. getting off the Methadone) will set you free to move towards the goals you have chosen according to your deeply held values.

Makes sense?

I have adapted this metaphor for clients with OSFED, BED & BN - Comment submitted by Maria Aleksandr... on December 8, 2018.

Hi,

I have adapted this metaphor for clients with eating disorders (OSFED, BED, and BN in particular) who doubt whether they have to start working with a dietitian. Here how it goes:

Dropping Anchor (Starting a Meal Plan)

People get into addiction to food and binge eating for all kinds of reasons. You can compare it to getting into boating. At first you are given free rides and you like it. Then you get your own boat and you enjoy your trips. But soon you find yourself adrift at sea attacked by pirates. You have to seek shelter in a shark infested archipelago, full of reefs, sandbanks, rocks and dangerous currents and things get really unpleasant and very scary.

The sensible thing to do now is to throw in your anchor (which is a good metaphor for the Meal Plan. You are still in the same territory but for now you steadied the boat and you are safe from running aground, drowning and being eaten by sharks.

Remember, at that point there is nothing wrong with that sea anchor (Meal Plan). Lifting it (not following/stopping) will not by itself be of benefit to you. You are not making any progress by setting yourself adrift again in those dangerous waters. In this situation the anchor is not your problem, it is your salvation.

But over time you will want to move on. So, you think about where to go from here, looking for a safe direction and a worthwhile goal.

Once you have made up your mind where you want to go, you plot a course out of the treacherous waters. Now your anchor has turned into a hindrance and lifting it (i.e. getting off the Meal Plan) will set you free to move towards the goals you have chosen according to your deeply held values.

Makes sense?

Today I had an interesting experience working with a 50+ woman with PTSD/GAD secondary to horrid childhood and marital abuse.

I was using Russ Harris' emotions are like the weather metaphor, including a mindful walk to experience today's weather. While debriefing the exercise we talked about how weather shows up and how futile it is to stand and curse the weather. Actually for her it is not futile - cursing the (real) weather is a form of emotional regulation and mostly soothes her, as long as she then connects with her values and engages with life. Sometimes this engagement means "staying inside" - forsaking some important activities while pursuing other "indoor activities" until the storm passes. But sometimes it means putting on wet weather gear and braving the cold, getting soaked to the bone while doing something more important (for her - feeding the animals).

We then compared this with how she handles the emotional weather. Two of her "storms" were memories and thoughts regarding mother - whom we labelled "Cyclone V...." and her stepfather "Tornado T..." The process of labelling them as such brought instant defusion. Running with the tornado theme, I asked her if she liked the movie Twister and she broke into a big grin and before I could say it she said "We've got cows".

As we explored it a bit further, she realised her experience of anxiety and trauma memories was very much like the scene from Twister - dodging cows, trucks and trees, getting scared out of your wits while pursuing your values.

When I told her I thought she'd invented a new therapeutic technique that might help others as well as herself, she literally glowed.

So she's going away to practice noticing the weather, labelling Cyclone V and Tornado T when they turn up and defusing via "we've got cows".

Ironic that the speaker of the lines was a therapist :-)

What other ways do you fol use the weather metaphor and popular culture?

This is written with kids in mind to help with Acceptance:

Yellowstone National Park is world-famous for its spectacular geysers, like “Old Faithful”. Geysers are interesting natural wonders. They are hot springs of water which when they get hot enough to boil they send all the water into a tall plume or jet of water into the air. But, they only work like geysers if they have all of the following: heat, water and a plumbing system that clogs up. If they don’t clog up they are just a hot spring of water in the ground. One hot spring in Yellowstone is the Heart Spring, which is a beautiful deep green pool of water shaped like a heart. If they do clog up, pressure builds up and it “blows its top”.

Yellowstone has so many different geysers. Old Faithful erupts every 35 to 120 minutes all day every day for 1 ½ to 5 minutes at a time and the water reaches a height of between 90 and 184 feet in the air. Even though you can count on it erupting, even it is not on a set schedule.

The Giantess Geyser can erupt violently with bursts up to 100 to 200 feet high and the area surrounding may shake from the underground steam explosions. Its eruptions can occur two times an hour for between 4 and 48 hours but only two to six times a year.

Sawmill Geyser erupts and spins water around its crater so it looks like a circular blade of a lumber mill. However its eruptions can last all kinds of different times. It can be between 9 minutes and 4 hours.

They all have something in common: they erupt! Human beings erupt, too… but not exactly like a geyser. We erupt with words or actions “blowing out tops”, too. If we remember what is necessary for geysers to be geysers, it is they “clog up” and build up a lot of pressure. If we try to push a feeling down and try not to think about upsetting things we “clog up” too. If we only think about upsetting things, we can be like the Giantess Geyser with the ground shaking and huge bursts of hot boiling water. We can get out of control.

So, what’s a person to do? Well, noticing our feelings and letting them bubble up like a hot spring doesn’t usually hurt anyone. However, they may be very hot and we have to respect the feelings, just like you can’t do a cannonball dive into a hot springs. You may need to find out a little about the feeling and ease into it and learn all about it.

By the way, Yellowstone National Park has a live webcam of Old Faithful geyser: Old Faithful Geyser Live. Check it out!
 

Another one I've been using regarding the mind and language is the asking a fish if they're wet metaphor. We're the fish, and language is the water. How would a fish know if they were wet if they'd never been out of the water? Jumping out of the water helps you to notice the water, but we all still must swim in it.

Any refinements or thoughts would be helpful.

Thanks,

Joanne Steinwachs

The variant from This Is Water - Comment submitted by josh.mervis on November 8, 2017.

David Foster Wallace has a variant of it that I think is nice for certain clients:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet
an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says,
“Morning, boys, how's the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a
bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes,
“What the hell is water?”

If at this moment, you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the
wise old fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I
am not the wise old fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the
most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are
the hardest to see and talk about.

This metaphor is used to create defusion. I have client's flip through a magazine and ask them which ads they buy into or they would purchase. I ask what ads to they find helpful or unhelpful. We then make the analogy to how their mind works. Their thoughts are like each ad in the magazine and it is as if their mind is flipping through each page, but they decide which thoughts they want to buy or hold onto.

I have just been on a four day workshop here in New Zealand with Robyn Wasler – and it has stimulated a number of metaphors.

Here is one that can be used around the idea of ‘buying’ our thoughts/feeling/reactions and treating them as if they are real. It also covers that it is part of the human condition to ‘get hooked’ – but that we do not need to stay hooked if it is our own mind that has hooked us.

Flyfishing Metaphor

“Have you heard about fly fishing. A good fly fisher knows exactly what the trout are feeding on and tie up flies that imitate those insects. They are so good at this that the trout can not tell the difference. They cast the fly into the stream right in front of the trout – the trout sees it floating by – buys that the fly is real, bites and gets hooked.

Our minds can be like really skilled flyfishers. Our thoughts and feeling are like really specific flies our mind designs and are just the ones we will bite on. Our mind casts them out on the stream in front of us – they seem so real to us and so we ‘buy’ them, bite and get hook.

Once we are hooked, the more we struggle the more we are behaving in ways that pulls the hook in further and keeps us on the line.

Funny thing is our mind can only tie flies on barbless hooks. It feels like we can’t get off, but if we pause from the struggle and spit the hook out – we are off the hook. Our mind will tell us there is a barb on the hook and we can’t get off – but if we stop struggling so hard, we get off the hook.

As we swim in the stream of life there are flies floating by on the surface all the time. As we get better at spotting ‘ that is just another fly floating by – I don’t have to bite’ we get hooked less often. But it is part of being human to get hooked on a regular basis. Remembering these flies are always on barbless hooks allows us to spend less time struggling, to get unhook and to then have the flexibility to swim in the direction our values let us know we want to."

Purpose: This metaphor is used to illustrate the “unworkability” of trying to “fix” (e.g. reduce, remove, suppress or change the form of) difficult “automatic” thoughts and emotions, by “adding” new thoughts when they appear in our “experiential window”. (as when clients try to "solve" these internal experiences with self-debating, or when clients are fused with their thoughts).

This is a heavy tested metaphor, rated as “successful”. Change the words, or explanation procedure, as needed, when using this metaphor on your own.

(Download metaphor as attachment).

Lessons from the Skies: A Hot Air Balloon Metaphor (shared by Brianna Z. Kauer, M.S., BCBA)

Growing up with a dad who was a hot air balloon pilot meant I had many experiences in the sky. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized how out of the ordinary this actually was. For me, it was a normal thing we did every calm summer evening; Soft Skies Balloon Rides was our family business. We spent many evenings preparing for the flight while explaining the mechanics to awed and excited customers who were about to experience it for the first time.

The process became second nature. We began with checking the wind, and then watching the direction of the helium balloons we would send up beforehand, rolling out the balloon in the field next to our house, connecting the basket, listening to the the sound of the fan blowing air into the balloon, checking instruments, velcroing seams together at the top, pulling material, holding ropes and then finally lighting the fire. The burners would ignite, drowning out all other sounds while the balloon went from laying on its side to floating over our heads. Passengers would climb into the basket, the ropes would be released and we would slowly rise off the ground. As the youngest in the family, I didn’t add much weight to the basket which meant I got to go along for many rides.

Floating in the sky above Wisconsin farmland was a big part of my childhood. It was a familiar space and one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever been. Not only did I have many adventures, but it also has given me some insight into perspective taking and letting go.

Many of the people we took for a balloon ride would be surprised to learn that you cannot steer a hot air balloon. The balloon follows the path of the wind and you must go along for the ride. All that you can control is going up or down; adding more heat by lighting up the burners (up) or releasing hot air through the top valve (down).

The balloon ride can be a great metaphor for life. There is so much we cannot control. We cannot control the direction of the wind and if we struggle against it we will only waste our energy. When we allow ourself to surrender to the wind we may notice the things around us in a different way. When we go up or down in the balloon our perspective will change.

The distance from which we look at something impacts our experience.

When we are flying low to the ground, everything seems large and appears to be moving quickly. When you are flying high in the air, everything seems small and appears to be moving slowly. We can’t control which direction the wind blows us, but we can choose to rise above the struggles of the day to see them from a distance. When we create distance from our negative thoughts or feelings they don’t seem so big; mountains become foothills, houses become toys, people become ants.

This distance gives us a bigger picture and often we can see things we couldn’t see before. We might notice other details or possibilities.

What I’m describing is a process called cognitive defusion which is a component of acceptance and commitment therapy and has shown to have a huge benefit on mental health and wellness. The goal is not to escape or avoid those difficult thoughts or feelings, it’s just to see them from a different angle. To create some distance, so that we are looking at them rather than from them.

Many of us learn complex information and concepts best through the use of story and metaphor. Metaphors are especially useful when understanding concepts of cognitive defusion. Finding an exercise or metaphor that works for you can be a useful tool for the difficult moments.

The hot air balloon metaphor is one of many ways to practice this technique of defusion. Other common exercises include observing your thoughts as a train on a track, or leaves on a stream, or playing with the words themselves (de-literalizing language).

When you find yourself overwhelmed by a thought or feeling, you can jump into your hot air balloon basket and float above it. Notice how your perspective changes as you float above those difficult thoughts and feelings. You can go up and down to change your distance from them while you surrender to the path of the wind and see where life takes you.

If you'd like to see pictures of my families ballooning adventures you can see the original post here: https://createbehaviorsolutions.com/lessons-from-the-skies-a-hot-air-balloon-metaphor/

Guided Defusion Exercise (also found here):https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQ-UW8WJLjluTLrNI8-emWvu6MlGJ2zlHHb8NeQCaquKvgvNt8eiM9XBJcXreGni7IL-a6jRYFkBilu/pub

Hot Air Balloon Metaphor: Defusion Exercise

You are welcome to close your eyes for this exercise if that helps. If at any time you need to pause, just open your eyes and do what you need to do.

Begin by noticing your body in space. Take a few deep breaths and arrive wherever you are.

We are going to practice putting some distance between you and your thoughts and feelings.

We will start by imagining yourself climbing into a hot air balloon basket. You look up and see the fully inflated balloon over your head filled with warm air.

Outside of the basket on the ground are all the things that have been troubling you. It is hard to see anything else because they are taking up so much space around you and are very big. Picture your troubling thoughts and feelings as actual objects on the ground. They could take shape as houses, vehicles, people, books, animals, to do lists, cell phones, or maybe just abstract shapes or different colors.

When you are ready to take flight you reach up and pull the burner which blows fire and heats the air of the balloon. That air begins warming up and soon the balloon gently rises off the ground and into the air.

You feel weightless and free.

You continue to rise.

You can feel the breath moving in and out of your lungs naturally with ease.

If you notice yourself getting closer to the ground you can simply add more heat to the balloon to rise higher into the air.

As you float upwards, you look down to see the ground and all the thoughts and feelings it holds. Notice how the size of those things looks much different from up here. They are still down there but they are taking up much less space in your line of sight. Now you can see them along with the whole city/town and horizon. You know they are there but from up here you can notice them from a distance.

From up here they are not the only thing you are experiencing.

From up here you can notice your body and the gentle rise and fall of your breath.

From up here you can notice your feet touching the basket.

From up here you can notice the sounds of the birds and the warmth of the air on your face.

From up here you can let go of your agenda and surrender to the direction of the wind.

This space is available to you whenever you choose to come.

For now we will let this image dissolve and bring your attention back to your body in space.

Taking a few more deep breaths before opening your eyes and returning here and now.  

Attached is a ppt & handout I did as an assignment during my final year undergraduate psych study. There's also a video role play of the chessboard metaphor which I've posted on YouTube (search by title "chessboard metaphor"). These materials were designed to briefly introduce other students (with no knowledge of ACT or RFT) to the use of metaphor in ACT as a psychotherapeutic technique. I've used material from this website extensively and hope I've acknowledged those sources adequately. I am sooooo grateful for the wealth of material that is available here!

In a way, life is like a cycling race. We are all pedaling and we wear shirts with words written on them. In French we have a way of speaking («Vous roulez pour qui ?) that translates litterally into "for whom do you travel ?" The idea is the same as the one Bob Dylan expresses in the song "You've got to serve somebody". We sometimes believe it's possible to have blank shirts without anything written on them or we can "not know" for what we pedal but in this case it happens that we nevertheless have something written on our shirt, namely "NOTHING" or "I DON'T KNOW". And how does that feel to travel for that master?

Now imagine there is a shop with piles of shirts wearing all kinds of words written on them. Like ELEGANCE, GENEROSITY, LOYALTY, HEALTH, LOVE, CARING, HONESTY, and so on. And you can choose, for free, any one of them. Which one would you choose?

And look what happens (at least to me). There comes this voice (you've probably heard it before) that says : "Waah, ELEGANCE, are you kidding? Have you looked at yourself in a mirror? That one for sure is not for you." Or something like "How come you want to take CARING? With that crappy introverted personality of yours? Or like "XYZ, are you crazy? You really don't have the temperament to do that!"

Can you have all these thoughts AND take the shirt you find «way cool», the one showing the quality you choose to «make important» in your life (thanks to Hank Robb for those wordings)? Then, find a goal, preferably a small one, an action that would lead your life a tiny little bit in the direction of that value, and DO it! Of course the voice will come with you, all along the way. See if you can welcome it without trying to have it shut up but without obeying it.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. . I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?"

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

I've mainly used the "caught in a rip" metaphor as a graphic way of capturing the essence of giving up the struggle. As I've written it down I think it actually has value for many aspects of ACT. So please feel free to email me with ideas for extensions or ammnedments.

Life’s a beach

Sometimes life is like swimming at the beach. We launch headlong into life expecting to have a fun, relaxing and refreshing time. People ply us with good advice. Don’t forget the sunscreen. Swim between the flags. Stay out of the water for 30 minutes after eating. Watch out for sharks. So we jump in, splash around and have a good time. Depending on our personality and experience we may be carefree, or we might be anxiously watching for sharks, or continually monitoring the flags to make sure we’re in the right place. Or maybe we are the sort of person who loves to flout the rules and swims anywhere.

Suddenly our pleasure is interrupted by an unpleasant sensation. We are knocked off our feet, we can no longer touch the sandy bottom and we notice we are headed out to sea. We panic and immediately set the goal, “I must get back to shore” so we take action to achieve that goal. We do it without thinking. It’s instinctive. We start paddling furiously against the rip. Sometimes we seem to be making a little progress, but we start to tire and notice we are losing the battle. We swim harder, we roll over on our back and kick with our legs, but we are getting nowhere and getting exhausted. We forget why we came to the beach in the first place. We begin to tell ourselves, “If only we had stayed between the flags” or “I wish I’d done some more swimming training before I risked it all by coming to the beach”, but none of this wondering how you got here is any help. You are still paddling furiously and getting nowhere. Maybe you call for help, and here I am – a lifesaver come to the rescue. So notice – here I am with a board to rescue you, and I suggest you grab hold of the board. Before you can grab hold of the board you need to stop paddling furiously. Even though every fibre in your body screams in protest, you must stop paddling and try something different – grab the board.

Now I am a very contrary lifesaver, for my job is not to rescue you, but to teach you to rescue yourself. For the thing about life is you can get sucked into a rip at any time. That rip may be depression, or grief, or anxiety or urges to eat, gamble, spend or use drugs.

So I want you to learn how to get out of trouble when you get stuck in a rip. So I invite you to swim slowly across the rip. I’ll even swim alongside you. As you do this you will feel the tug of the rip. You will get carried out to sea further than you’d like to be and your mind will flash all sorts of scary scenarios before your eyes. That is what minds do. Mine does it too. I’m not asking you not to be scared, or anxious, or depressed. I’m asking you to swim across the rip while experiencing those thoughts and sensations and eventually you will come to calm water and be able to get on with enjoying your day at the beach. So what I’m inviting you to do is to give up paddling furiously and accept the uncomfortable sensations and scary thoughts of being carried out to sea. I’m inviting you to reconnect with what really matters – having fun at the beach for whatever reasons that is enjoyable for you. I’m inviting you to take effective action and what that is depends on the situation. If you’re safe it means enjoying the sun and the surf for your own reasons. If you’re stuck in a rip of (insert presenting problem) it means stopping the struggle and taking small strokes in the direction of where you want to be, whatever experiences come up.

Additional Extensions

(For OCD/Anxiety)

Notice that in this scenario there are precautions you can take to improve your safety. You can learn skills like how to do survival stroke, or simply train to be a better swimmer. You can put on sunblock to stop getting burnt. You can stay out of the surf on really rough days. You can avoid beaches where there are stingers. You can swim between the flags. These can serve to improve your enjoyment of being at the beach. But what happens to your fun if you become obsessed with safety. Instead of floating around or catching waves, you keep your eyes glued on the flags? Or as soon as your toes hit the water you run back to your bag to put on some more sunblock? Or if you give up on going to the beach because it’s too dangerous? (Let client answer – and discuss reasonable safety and how to practice it as well as willingness to have worry thoughts while pursuing valued activity)

Notice also that despite your best efforts, you can still get stuck in a rip. Winds, current and tide may change and the area that was once safe turns into a rip, or maybe a huge wave comes and knocks you off your feet. It doesn’t matter whose fault it was or how it happened, once you’re in a rip you have an important choice to make. Keep struggling and eventually succumb to exhaustion and drown, or stop struggling and start taking effective action by swimming across the rip towards your values.

(Values)

Notice that there are lots of people at the beach on a hot day. Now I imagine they’re not all there for the same reason. What are some of the reasons for going to the beach? (Let client answer and prompt for as wide a range of options.) Use this as a jumping off point for discussing goals and values including pursuing the same goal for different reasons, and also being able to pursue values even if a specific goal is blocked. For example if you go to the beach (goal) to cool down (value) – if the road to the beach is closed, there are other ways to cool down – e.g. – sit in an air conditioned room, have a cold shower, have an iced coffee etc.

(Advice/Pliance/Programming)

Do you remember all the good advice people have given you about how to be safe when going to the beach? Notice that some of it is good advice (don’t get out of your depth if you can’t swim), some is mostly right but sometimes wrong (it’s safe to swim between the flags) and some is just urban myth (rubbing butter on your skin protects you from sunburn). I’ll bet you didn’t ask for any of that advice, it just randomly came your way. People with good (and maybe bad) intentions filled your head with a mixture of good, bad and indifferent advice. So how do you tell whether that bit of advice that pops into your head when you make plans to go to the beach is worth following? (explore workability)

I use this with clients who are experiencing troubling thoughts. I find it helpful as a rapid analogy about value driven behavior and acceptance. In addition, the metaphor itself is easily  anchored , as most of us actually check a mailbox each day.  I enjoy sharing on this site, feel free to play with this , and offer  your feedback.

1) When you go home today, what do you expect to find in your mailbox?
Client answers: Bills, advertisements, junk mail, maybe a letter.

2) How do you sort through to decide which mail needs follow up and which is considered junk?
Client answers: I have to look at it, and decide what is important.

3) How do you know what is important?
Client: Well if I don’t pay my bills my electricity would get disconnected, and if I don't renew my license plates, I can't drive.

4) I see, so you sort things out according to what matters to you, your priorities are easy to identify because you value the stability of a comfortable home and the freedom of driving your own vehicle.       What do you do with the junk mail?
Client: I throw it away

5) When you throw it away, is that the end of it?
Client: no there's always more junk mail the next time I open the box.

6) Why don't you follow up on it? You could call and check on those offers or you could get mad and call the advertisers and demand that they stop delivering the junk?
Client: Yes, but that would just be a waste of time…I've learned those offers are things that I don't need, or they are scams. I once tried to stop the mail but other companies send more. There's always more junk mail the next day, it's not worth getting upset..

Summation: So your experience helps you sort out what is important, according to the things that matter to you. And you learn to live with the junk mail that shows up everyday. It's in the box, you notice it long enough to recognize it for what it is, and then you move onto what matters in your life. …… Maybe these thoughts are like the mail that shows up in your mailbox; you take action on the important things while you have to accept the fact that there will be some junk , and you simply allow it to show up.

I have created a free little iOS iPhone app that visualises the mind as an obtrusive chat application among other ACT-congruent exercises.

The user can play with it and try different strategies on how to respond to the chat request, like just pushing it away, be harsh or getting hooked. And there are other ways to try, like notice and name, drop anchor, jot down the thoughts to come back later in some worry time. The app uses ChatGPT (behind a proxy) to mimic interactions with the worry monster.

Download and read more
https://apps.apple.com/ch/app/sorgenmonster/id6727016600

This is a file with several mindfulness body based ACT metaphors that consist in guided mindfulness of the body exercises that target specific processes specially shifting mode of mind from doing mode to being mode. They all enphatize learning from direct experience and connecting with here and now. You can explore more you can go to the ppt presentation at WC IX  for more resources. Hope you all enjoy them! and if you use them please let me know how was your experience.

This is a metaphor I'm working on to help explain the utility of acceptance.  I'd really love to get feedback if folks have any thoughts.  --Melissa Wright

Therapist: Sometimes it seems almost impossible to sit with our feelings. I’d like you to imagine something that might help you understand what I mean about “making room” for your experiences, or accepting them. Would that be alright?

Now imagine you are walking home your usual way, just walking through your neighborhood. Suddenly, you hear something, and it sounds like it’s right behind you. It sounds big, it sounds scary, it actually sounds like a giant flying beast… you think you can hear its massive wings flapping and its jaws crunching and grinding. Terrifying sounds. My guess is you might take off running, does that sound about right?

Client: Well yeah.
Therapist: Me too. Are you a runner?
Client: Oh, sometimes. I’ve been a runner in the past.

Therapist: So, tell me… what happens once you’ve been running for a mile or so?

Client: Well I should be fine after a mile.
Therapist: Okay, so what about after five miles?
Client: I’d definitely be getting tired by then.
Therapist: I certainly would too. And what do you normally do while you’re running?
Client: What do I do?
Therapist: Yeah, I mean, do you make business calls, or catch up with the people you love?
Client: While I’m running?
Therapist: Yeah, while you’re running.
Client: Well, no, running is pretty much the only thing I do while I’m running. I mean I get all sweaty and out of breath. 

Therapist: I’d certainly be sweaty and tired. But the thing is, the beast is still following you, so you keep running. You run and run and run and run and you are sweaty and you are tired, but the beast is still there, you can hear it, so you keep running.

Finally, at some point, you trip over a rock. And when you look up, you see it. And this beast that’s been following you? … Now, bear with me, this is a funny image, but this beast - well… It’s a gang of mosquitos. There’s about 8 of them, and they are flying around with these little megaphones that make them sound MUCH bigger than they really are. And those big wings that you thought you could hear flapping? They are actually tiny mosquito wings… and those jaws that were grinding? That’s actually the noise of the tiny little mosquito mouths…
But you’ve stopped running, so now they do bite you. And you sure do get itchy. And that’s actually pretty unpleasant… but do you think that at this point, as you’re looking up at the mosquitos, you would choose to get up and start running again?

Client: I guess not, if they are just mosquitos…but what do you mean?
Therapist: Well, sometimes running does make sense, right? If its really a monster you need to avoid, then running makes sense.   But the thing is, feelings are a lot more like a pack of mosquitos chasing you around than an actual monster. No one has ever been injured or killed by anxiety and sadness. Feelings ARE itchy: they often aren’t fun, they can be downright awful to experience. But if we run from them, we end up using all our energy getting sweaty and out of breath, while we could have been making business calls, catching up with old friends…

Client: Hmmm

Therapist: The important thing to remember is that even when feelings and thoughts look and sound like a huge crazy monster, the truth is, they can’t actually hurt you.
And what I’m hoping is that, above all, we can help you notice when you are running. That way you can make a decision -- you can ask yourself, “is running actually helping me get what I want? Or, am I all sweaty and tired and unavailable to my friends and family because I’m so busy running away from something that isn’t actually dangerous to me?” 

Running takes a lot of energy, and you might find that you’d rather get a few mosquito bites, feel the itchy feelings, and be able to stay in one place and do the things that you want to do. But it takes practice to know that you’re running, practice to learn how to keep walking instead, and I’m hoping we can practice some of that here together. 

Internal Struggles (The Chessboard Metaphor) - Contributed and posted with permission by Dr. Russ Harris

Here's a brand new animation of the chessboard metaphor. It is posted on YouTube so you can freely share with clients if you wish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phbzSNsY8vc

Passengers on a Bus - An ACT Metaphor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z29ptSuoWRc

Les Passagers du Bus (Français): A French animated Choose Your Own Adventure video series featuring The Passengers On The Bus metaphor. Viewers are able to make decisions that shape the story, with each video demonstrating the impact of their chosen strategy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjIYp-46zc

Picture your life as a room. One day you notice that a pipe near the ceiling in a corner is dripping. The sound of the falling drops makes you nervous and you'd like to get rid of it. So you repair the leak with a length of adhesive isolation tape and your peace of mind is back. Until the water finds his way through the glue and the dripping sound is back. Plop.... plop... plop... So you put one more length of tape around the first repair and you are quiet again. Of course your quietness doesn't last very long and you have to fix the leak again and again. That's not a great problem since adhesive tape is pretty cheap and you manage to always have a spare roll handy. It can take months, even years until you notice that that big clumsy repair slowly fills the whole room, that there's less and less space for you to live in and that the dripping comes nearer and nearer to you...

This metaphor adresses basically the same problem than the «feeding the tiger» metaphor. The hopelessness it conveys seems to me to be more «creative» since it doesn't lead to the thought «it's too late now, the tiger has grown so huge I really can't do nothing else than feeding him» clients will often buy when the «feeding the tiger» metaphor is presented.

Sandstorm metaphor

Sandstorms are violent wind storms that occur in the desert when high winds lift particles of sand into the air thus unleashing a turbulent and suffocating cloud of sand. They can occur unexpectedly and last for as little as a few minutes or as long as a few months. Regardless of how long they last, the effects can be abrasive and blinding to exposed skin. To survive a sandstorm one therefore has to experience the sandstorm from a different position of having exposed skin covered, and ‘riding’ the storm. A sandstorm can move whole sand dunes, thus changing the landscape. It can therefore be difficult to rely on the landscape to show you which direction to go in. The stars which are constant and remain unchanging can be used instead as a compass for guidance. There is therefore a real danger of getting lost in a whirling wall of sand, as well as the abrasive effects on exposed skin and eyes. To survive a sandstorm, one has to cover exposed skin, and then sit and wait for it to pass whilst experiencing the sights, sounds, smell, taste of the storm, but doing so from a position that allows you to experience it, but not be caught up and exposed in it. Major sandstorms are a natural occurrence – they are part of life in the desert and cannot be avoided.

Difficult life situations/worries/anxieties/fears/problems can be like sandstorms. They are a natural occurrence of life and living. We can sometimes feel as though we are caught in the middle of a sandstorm, lost (moving sand dunes and changing landscapes), and unsure of which direction to move in.
 

The enclosed attachment illustrates two ways of responding when caught in a sandstorm - psychological flexibility and psychological inflexibility, and the different ACT processes within each.

I recently used this metaphor with a lady with needle phobia that regularly needed to be cannulated to receive cancer treatment.  She hated the experience and had the urge to rip the needle out of her arm. Having the treatment was in line with her values as she wanted to live.
 

‘Have you ever stood on the edge of a cliff or the balcony of a high rise building when you’ve suddenly had the thought ‘what if I jump’? (most people have had that experience and she said ‘yes’). How did you feel? Did you ever think that you would actually jump? Did you know that you were in control over whether you jumped or not? Must people experience a surge of anxiety but know that they would never jump.
 

What if it’s the same when the needle is put in your arm and you are attached to the drip?
You can’t control the thought (what if I jumped/pulled the cannula out of my arm?), but you have a choice to jump or to stand back and admire the view?
This lady felt much calmer in the subsequent cancer treatment sessions and said that she was able to sit back and observe her thoughts rather than buying them.

Although I used this with a lady with needle phobia it could easily be used with any situation where the client fuse with a thought and believe that they might act on it.
 

Plain language version of ACT Submitted by Steven Hayes

This is ACT in a few sentences: You've been trying to win the war with your mind, with your anxiety, with your urges [add whatever is relevant]. True? (They always say "yes."). Well, ACT is about letting the war roll on while you leave the battlefield.

This is a joke I've been using with clients recently that seems to have been pretty successful so far in orienting them to the concept of "workability." 

There's this little boy that won't stop shredding paper. No matter what his parents do, every piece of paper they put in front of him, he tears up. They take him to three different doctors to see what they can do to fix it. The first doctor says that his problem is psychological, and so he prescribes him six sessions with a therapist. At the end of the sessions, they put a piece of paper in front of the boy...and he shreds it immediately. The second doctor says his problem must be neurological, so he does a bunch of tests and prescribes a bunch of different medications in an attempt to curb the behavior, all to no avail. So they take the boy, who by this point is incredibly frustrated by this entire process, to see a third doctor. This doctor, rather than writing a prescription or doing some kind of complex diagnostic, simply walks up to the boy, bends down and whispers something in his ear. The boy looks at him, says "Okay!" and from that moment on, the behavior completely stops. A few weeks go by, and it looks like whatever doctor number three did fixed it. So, curious, the boy's parents ask him what incredible piece of wisdom and insight the doctor gave him. The boy replies:

"He told me if I stopped shredding paper then you guys would stop taking me to see these all these doctors."

This metaphor is useful for car enthusiasts, or anyone really, as long as they understand the concept of a clutch in a manual transmission vehicle.

It's as if you're driving a car on your journey through life.  However, you begin to notice over time that the engine in this car is very finicky, almost like it has a mind of its own.  It occasionally revs up very high, or bogs down low.  As it does this, the car speeds up or slows to a crawl, regardless of the speed limit, upcoming turns, or what the traffic is like around you.  Naturally, this can make it difficult for you to effectively drive in the direction you want to go.  Your initial response is to try to control the pace of the engine by hitting the brakes when it speeds up or hitting the gas when it slows down.  You push down hard on the brake, and you slam the gas pedal in response to the engine acting up.  However, you notice over time that this does not work very well or for very long, and the engine revs even higher or bogs down even lower when you try to fight it.  What's more is while you have been putting all of your energy into those pedals, your attention is no longer on the road or the direction you are headed.  What if there were an alternative to the gas and brake pedals.  What if you looked down to find that there was a clutch, hidden over in a dark area of the floorboard?  Instead of trying to control this finicky, unpredictable engine, you could simply take the car out of gear.  This would eliminate the need to control or change the pace of the engine, and instead as it begins to race or bog down, you could simply push in the clutch.  When the pace of the engine is appropriate or effective for the road that you are on, you could let the clutch back out.  The engine no longer controls the speed of the car.  You do.  And you are now free to concentrate on the road ahead of you.   We can think of our minds as being like the engine in this example, and willingness, acceptance, and mindful awareness are all like the clutch.  When our mind begins racing, telling us to run away or escape, showing us images of possible dangerous scenarios, reminding us of painful past events, or bogging us down with evaluations, judgments, and negative predictions, we can choose to engage the clutch and willingly observe these things without allowing our behavior (the car itself) to automatically speed up or slow down.  When we find that our mind is being helpful, we can release the clutch and allow it to do its work.  We can't ever successfully gain control of the engine, but we can gain control of the speed and direction of the car.

The Cold Shower metaphor

Taking a cold shower – dealing with discomfort in the service of a valued life. Noticing Willingness and Unwillingness and how to make Willingness easier.

Two scenarios:

You are thinking of taking a shower but you discover there is no hot water:

1. If you had the choice to have a cold shower…or not to, you might choose not to. Because it’s cold, it’d be uncomfortable, you could do without the shower, I will be cold afterwards, I’m not that smelly I’ll do till the morning etc. You might not be bothered because there’s no point in putting up with that much discomfort for no good reason.

2. If a close relative or friend was getting married that day, you wanted to be clean and fresh but again you find there is no hot water. If you stopped for a few minutes and you thought about the person getting married and how much you care about them, and the great time you were going to have sharing in that special day, wouldn’t you put up with a few minutes of discomfort of the cold shower? Because it was Important to You. Mightn’t you be able to put aside your feelings of discomfort, because you wanted to be fresh and clean for the great day ahead? In this instance, we are prepared to make room for the uncomfortableness. We chose discomfort in the value of feeling better after the shower.

In both scenarios, the water is the same unpleasant temperature.
Which of the 2 scenarios would ‘feel’ better? And why?
When we increase Willingness to make room for uncomfortableness it can increase our bandwidth to be able to take on experiences we might previously have avoided.

In the second scenario, I made room for the uncomfortableness and I let it be there, and I still went ahead and had the shower because it was important to me. In the first scenario, I only focused on the uncomfortable feelings and I preferred to avoid the shower altogether.

Finding out what’s important to us in life can really help manage uncomfortable feelings and make room for them by focusing on What’s Important in our lives.

So if someone was socially anxious, yet they wanted to go to a gathering. They could choose to make room for some uncomfortable feelings (to have the cold shower as it were) because What’s Important is that I move forward towards things I enjoy, What’s Important to me, like socialising with others.
 

This is a metaphor and defusion technique devised by one of my clients and shared with her permission.

It provides a very simple and powerful image for the acceptance of thoughts which are disturbing and unwanted.

The Jigsaw Piece

When an unwanted or distressing thought arises, I try seeing it on a jigsaw piece.

My jigsaw has many pieces, each representing the many different aspects of myself and my experience.

I see the jigsaw piece with my thought (or feeling) on it as it finds its alloted place in my jigsaw.

There is a space for this piece.  It is a perfect fit.  It belongs here, for whatever reason, even if I don't understand or want it.

It is a part of my experience.  Just that.  Even if this piece looks ugly or painful or disturbing, it is one piece of a large and beautiful picture. 

As I'm typing this, I'm also thinking of those photo montages where, for example, the picture looks like a face and when you zoom in it is constructed from thousands and thousands of unrelated smaller images.

There is some scope to elabourate this image a little or use it in conjunction with other exercises - for example I sometimes use an exercise called "Big I, little i's" (constructing a big I on the wall using lots of post-it notes, the client being invited to write about different aspects of themselves on each one)...the point being that I am more than any one aspect of myself e.g. I'm more than my appearance;  more than my history;  more than my intrusive thoughts...

I hope this is helpful.

Regards

Andrew Chester

Sheffield, UK.

$86,400 -- Something To Think About!

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize has rules, just as any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules: Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.

You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.

The second set of rules: The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, Its over, the game is over!

It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?

Not only for yourself, but for all people you love, right?

Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY, this GAME is REALITY!

Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank.

We just can't seem to see it.

The MAGICAL BANK is TIME!

Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time....WITHOUT WARNING.

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Aren't they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?

Think about that, and always think of this: Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

I'm not too satisfied whith the two scales metaphor. The two scales are unrelated and therefor difficult to understand.

I propose the pendulum metaphor as an alternative. You have two dimensions of a pendulum: one is the amplitude the other is the string between its sinker and attachment. They are clearly related and the metaphor is easy to understand since almost everyone have some experience of a pendulum. 

The pendulum metaphor below. It's a remake of the two scales metaphore.

Comments welcome. Feel free to use.

Detta verk är licensierat under en Creative Commons Erkännande 3.0 Unported Licens.

A Pendulum

Imagine a feeling, any feeling or emotion. How long will it last?

Imagine a pendulum. The higher you lift it in one direction, the more power to swing up on the other side will you give it. You will perhaps notice the power in it’s weight and resistance, more when you let it go.

It is with feelings as with the pendulum – they swing! Inexorable! You may like one side more than the other. If you try to fight the pendulum and try to get it high up on the side you prefer, you will give it power to get high on the opposite side (the one you dislike). You may for a short moment stop it or lift it higher then it’s natural cycle (provide). It will though consume and lock your own power. And sooner or later it will anyway go to the side you dislike – and with the extra power you’ve been giving it! Fact is that in the moment you notice a resistence in your strive to get the pendulum in your disired direction, it’s power is in the opposit direction.

If you on the other hand are willing to let the pendulum swing, you don’t lock your energy in the pendulum and you do not give the side you dislike any extra energy. For some persons it may swing more than for others. Some might like it, others are getting seasick. Willingness is not equal to like it when it swing. Willingness is to change focus. Instead of sitting in the sinker, it is to climb up the string to the attachment! It means you have acceptance for all feelings.

At the attachment of the pendulm can you let it swing without getting seasick. The whole of you are not swayed by the swing, but the swing is still there.

Let’s take anxiety as an example:

It is when you are really unwilling to have anxiety that anxiety is something to be really worried about. It is as when anxiety is high and willingness low the anxiety clings hard. And how hard you press the pendulum the harder the anxiety clings. You give it more power. So what is favourable to do is to shift focus from the power of the anxiety in the pendulum to acceptance and willingness. Climb from the sinker to the attachment of the pendulum. You have, in vain, tried for so long to control your anxiety. You can not change the swing (at least not from the position in the sinker) but you are free to climb to the attachment. 

That is not a reaction, not a feeling, emotion or thought – is is a choice.

You have probably been at the sinker – you might have been in high swing. That might be the reason you are here. What needs to be done now is to climb up to the willingness in the attachment point of the pendulum.

In doing so, sitting at the attachment wherer willingness is high, I can guarantee you what will happen to your anxiety. I’ll tell you exaclty what will happen, and you can hold an me as a solemn promise. If you stop trying to control anxiety it will be low – or high.

I swear. And when it is low it is low until it is not low any longer. When it is high is will be high untill it becomes low again. I’m not teasing you. There just aren’t enough words for what it is like to sit at the attachment of the pendulum compared to sitting at the sinker.

These strange words are as close as I can get. I can say one thing for sure, and I guess your experience says the same thing – if you want to know for certain where you have the anxiety, there is something you can do. You only need to glide down to the sinker (were willingness is low) and follow it. And sooner or later, when it swings up the anxiety side you don’t want to be there any longer. Then you go in clinch with the pendulum and give anxiety power. It’s very predictable.

If you on the other hand again climb to the attachment where you willingly can let the pendulum swing – you can let it swing both ways! Sometimes there is anxiety, sometimes not. And in both cases you will keep out of a useless and traumatic struggle that can lead only in one direction. Sitting at the attachment of the pendulum and willingly letting it swing without an urge to control the swing (you are not getting seasick and you don’t favour one side) the unnatural unease dissapear and only the natural unease remain.

You can’t say how long it will linger, but one thing is certain - I don’t say the unease will disappear, what I say is that if you give in your attempts to manipulate your unease the degree of unease will be set by your temporary, personal history. No more, no less.

Control works in some areas of life. But not in getting rid of heavy feelings or thoughts. Acceptance and willingness on the other hand work, it’s in your hand. There is a little trap here. There is a paradox. Imagine the rule we mentioned earlier is true: " If you are not willing to have it, you have it."

What can you do with that knowledge? If you are willing to have it – for to not have it – then you really don’t want it.

Are you then willing?! You can not fool yourself.

Am a life coach and new to ACT.  (new to life coaching too actually) so I hope others can improve on this metaphor I used with a client and it blew her mind.  This is aimed at defusion of nasty thoughts about self.  Creating some distance by putting the nasty thought in the mouth of a character you know the clients will hold with some aversion.

So the thought that was expressed by the client was "that's the last thing I am is a genius".  I asked her, so if I just thought of something that might sound a little strange at first but might give you an interesting perspective would you want me to share it with you?  "Sure"  (somewhat guardedly).  

So lets pretend you are in a bar.  Is there a bar you go to frequently?  O.K., picture that one.  And you are waiting for a friend.  She texts you and tells you that she is stuck in traffic but still coming.  While you are waiting, a guy starts to notice you. You ignore but are aware that you are being noticed.  After a while he comes up to you and says "Hello my name is Clod".  You say nothing and just look at him.  Clod says, "I have been noticing you and just wanted to say, the last thing in the world you are is a genius."

What would you do?  "Tell him to get lost". Right.  That makes sense.  What a 'Clod'.  But just for fun, what options would you have in that situation?  "Well I'm certainly not going to talk to him."  Agreed, that makes total sense.  But let's just list out the options....Discussion leads to,  1)  You could talk to him.  2)  You could ask the manager to kick him out of the bar. 3) Ignore him and hope he goes away. 4) Throw a drink on him.   I then raised, well tell me if I'm wrong but it sounds to me like you didn't do any of those things.  It sounds like you went and sat down with him asked him if you could wear his school ring around your neck.  "Huh?"  Yes I mean here we were talking about something I thought was ingenius and you told me the last thing you were was a genius, sounds like you are buying into Clod pretty intensely.

In my session it did not result in a committed action step but it could be pursued, e.g.  How do you want to respond to Clod next time he comes at you with that line.  

BTW, would use the exact same scenario for a heterosexual male also.  If he is fused with the idea that he is NOT a Clod, but also fused with the idea that he is NOT a genius, then it might work just as well, have not had the chance to try.  I would just say 'What is the likelihood you would use a line like that on someone?  "Zero", right so what part of the bar room is a good analogy to your use of the term on yourself?  "It wasn't a pickup line!"  True enough, so what was it?  and where did it come from?  And what other stuff comes from that place?  For gay clients, minor tweaks.

Am interested from those more experienced where this approach might have potential downsides or how it could be improved.

Cliff Jekel

P.S. Hat tip to Russ Harris who in ACT in Context podcast episode mentioned the idea of treating these thoughts as if they came from annoying teenagers.  That's where I got the idea.

This is a metaphor I devised, because so many of my clients are too young to know much about quick sand and don’t have their licenses yet so also don’t really understand skidding on the road. It works very well when you ask the client what they know about rip currents and then draw out the analogy from the information given by them. Young surfers love this metaphor and most clients can relate to how exhausted they are by their current control efforts.  

When caught in a rip current, swimmers often intuitively swim towards the shore, unwittingly swimming directly against the rip. This is the main reason rips are so dangerous, because the strong current keeps pulling the swimmer back into the ocean, so even the strongest swimmer makes little progress, risking exhaustion and drowning. Experts advise us that a rip is ‘like a treadmill which the swimmer needs to step off’. This is done by swimming parallel to the shore until one is outside of the rip current, encouraged to aim for places where waves are breaking, which can assist one in being transported towards the shore. If the rip is too strong to allow the swimmer to swim away from it, advice is to relax and calmly float or tread water to conserve energy and wait till the rip loses its strength. Then swim leisurely in a diagonal direction away from the rip, but back to the shore.
Being caught up in a turmoil of emotions and thoughts can be very similar to a rip current. You might be able to clearly see the shore, i.e. the direction you want to take your life. Yet all your efforts just leave you exhausted, as you desperately try to fight your thoughts and feelings in order to reach your goals, almost like swimming into the rip current towards the shore. Our intuition and often the coping mechanisms we have learnt, urge us to try to get rid of thoughts and feelings as the only way to reach our goals. Yet, contrary to what you might believe, this is a very ineffective strategy. Some of the processes used in ACT therapy are counter-intuitive, asking you to go against what may feel like the right thing to do. At first some of these techniques might feel as if you are going deeper into the ocean rather than moving towards your goals. Sometimes it will be necessary to just calmly tread water and allow yourself to feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and feelings until the turmoil loses its strength. And at times you might have to make a slight course correction, swimming diagonally towards your goal rather than in a straight line. As you learn to notice what is happening in the here and now, you might be able to find the “places where waves are breaking”, the things that will aid you in getting to your goal more efficiently.
 

I'm sure you will have fun in drawing out more explicit analogies to Values, committed action and Self as context.  I just thougth I would get the idea started.

Warm regards

Esthe Davis

Here's a fun one. It's a little gross, perhaps. A client and I were talking about what minds do and I pulled the idea of using the comparison to organs. I think this is from Out of Your Mind.

Anyway, so the client says: "I get it, intestines make shit. Minds make thoughts."

We laugh and then start fooling around with the metaphor, like this: What happens if your intestines stop making shit? Not a good thing.

What happens when your intestines do make shit?

We agree that most people tend to check it out to see if things are working all right, and then they flush it.

Do your intestines make shit sometimes when you don't want them to?

Yes and sometimes won't make shit when I DO want them to.

Would it make sense to scoop your shit up, put it in your pocket, carry it around with you, and check on it all day?

Ewww, no!

So I'm thinking this is one of my more memorable Cfunc experiences.

That was a fun one. I've been laughing about it for a while.

Hope you all get a giggle too.

Joanne Steinwachs

I kept hearing ACT therapists talk about "buying" thoughts, so I took this idea to its extreme and wrote out the following, which I sometimes bring into sessions with clients:

The Store Metaphor
By Shane Knox

Let's imagine that your mind is a giant store. Since this store is your mind, you're the only customer. Oh, and you also have virtually unlimited money! All the merchandise in the store symbolize your thoughts, emotions, memories, urges, etc.—everything that goes on in your mind. Some of the merchandise you like, some you don't. Some of it seems really important to you, and other items are trivial. Some products are useful, or fun, or trendy, or unhealthy. Just like a real store, you probably have positive or negative judgments about lots of the items in the store, and others you just feel neutral about.

As a customer of this store, you don't really have direct control over what merchandise the store has for sale. But what do you have control over? Well, you decide what to buy! Your purchases will probably influence the store's future inventory. For example, if you buy lots and lots of staplers, the store will likely order more. And if they continue to sell out of staplers, the store will probably make a bigger stapler section to accommodate the apparent demand. So as customer, you do have some control over what the store sells, but it's a slow power, and there are no guarantees—it's really ultimately up to the store what's on the shelves.

So you can't control what's on the shelves, but you do get to choose what to buy. You choose what to take home with you. You likely don't like certain products, so why do you buy them? Are there any thoughts or feelings that you've “bought” that have actually made your life less rich?

What might it mean to “buy” a thought or feeling? It means you've “taken it home with you”. To “buy” a thought or feeling is to think you own it, to strongly identify with it as part of who you are. It might also mean you feel you must act on it. Or to put it another way, you believe this thought or feeling as if it's real and not just a thought or feeling. It's to mistake it as a solid object rather than just a passing experience. (Spend some time thinking about what it means to “buy” a thought or feeling, using personal examples if you can.)

It's not easy to scale back our spending and make conscientious purchases—we're often tempted by products that deliver short-term benefits at the expense of long-term well-being. We sometimes think we need something we actually don't, or get addicted to buying things in general. Even if we try to avoid the store altogether, there are bound to be reminders about what to buy in the form of advertisements and societal messages.

Ultimately, though, the “merchandise” you buy is your decision.

Thanks for sharing this Metaphor! - Comment submitted by scottpalasik on February 19, 2013.

Dear Shane,

You have really developed a well thought out and descriptive metaphor here. I can picture the store rows of items (thoughts) on a shelves as far as the eye can see (kind of like a giant Sam's Club). I particularly enjoyed the practice of "Spending some time thinking about what it means to "buy" a thought or feeling". This gets at the crux of choices and how we can change our behaviors by examining our thoughts.

This "buy in" is so important in life. I know you said we have "unlimited money", what if we didn't. How might having a limited supply of currency change the metaphor if we can only spend a certain amount on the thoughts that service us best. What thoughts would we want to own? At the same time, what thoughts do we let sit on shelves collecting dust? We can't throw them away, however we don't have to buy them either.

Thanks again,
Scott

Scott Palasik PhD, CCC - SLP
University of Akron
School of Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology

A little Acceptance thrown in too..... Comment submitted by docberf on December 4, 2014.

I've used a very similar scenario with my ACT groups that I call "The Supermarket of the Mind". Very same shopping metaphor (I usually ask who has ever shopped for groceries at a supermarket...a pretty universal experience). I then proceed to ask:

1. When you shop for groceries, do you go through and put everything that's on the shelves into your cart each week? (Resounding "No" from everyone). Why not? Usually the responses come along the lines: "Because I can't use/don't need everything." "Just buy what I need that week", etc. We usually concur that the best strategy is to buy what we can use and leave the rest on the shelves.

2. I then take it a step further and ask, "And I bet before you leave the store you stop by the manager's office to complain about all the products that were on the shelves that you can't use and demand that he not carry them any more, since that would surely make your marketing much simpler to know that the store only carried what you needed, right?" Generally, no one agrees with that and as we explore why not, we hear "Because I might need some of that stuff on other weeks" or "Just because I can't use it right now, doesn't mean I won't need it sometime" or similar ideas (which is a very nice way of introducing context and present moment awareness into the metaphor too).

3. Finally, I ask: "And in this whole scenario, guess what your mind's job is?" This will usually be a bit of a go round as we consider different "jobs" in the supermarket (manager? shopper? etc.) and try to compare it to their experience of their mind. At some point (if it hasn't been suggested by one of the group), I'll offer: Doesn't your mind work kind of like the stockperson? He/she isn't concerned with what you need or what you can use, what's good for you or bad for you this week, or even what you like or don't like. Their only job is to KEEP THE SHELVES STOCKED WITH EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING (also helping with Acceptance and Willingness to encounter products week to week that we dont like, can't use, etc. but no big deal since no one forces us to buy them).

Helping to draw the distinction between stocking the shelves and shopping from the shelves helps with a number of core processes from defusion to self-as-context (shopper vs. stocker vs. contents of my cart).

It's one of my favorite metaphors to use because everyone can relate and really have fun exploring it.

Keith Berfield
 

Here's a metaphor I've been using to describe the difference between ACT and other therapies.

What if you're on the Titanic?

Some approaches might suggest moving the deck chairs around. (laughs all around)

What would be a better approach?

Client usually comes up with the idea of steering better.

My offering to them is perhaps it would be a good idea to get off the boat completely.

My Best, Joanne

Sometimes I find it useful to see the voice in my head that constantly provides me with an analysis of the surroundings and tells me what I have to do to proceed safely (and to be right !) as one of those GPS systems you can have built into your car. A sampled voice will then give you constant advice about what to do at the next crossroads. These systems are very convenient and useful. But it's still important to keep one's eyes wide open. Some drivers ended in a river because a bridge had been suppressed and the system hadn't been updated. In the north of Europe, a truck driver got stuck in a narrow lane. For sure he was on the right way, but the road couldn't accommodate such a wide vehicle. And some accidents happen because a driver is too busy fiddling with the controls of the system and neglects to watch the road.

Of course that thought is perfectly logic and your mind tells you that it's not only a thought but the plain truth. But will doing what that thought tells you to do lead you in a direction dear to your heart ? Fiddling with the controls won't give you the answer...

I often use this metaphor with clients to convey the counterproductivity of cognitive and emotional avoidance. It is similar to the Pink Elephants metaphor but also suggests the alternatives of acceptance and willingness.

Imagine what you're doing with these (thoughts/distressing memories/feelings) is like fighting with a ball in a pool. You don't like them, you don't want them and you want them out of your life. So you try and push this ball under water and out of your consciousness. However, the ball keeps floating back to the surface, so you have to keep pushing it down or holding it under the water. This struggling with the ball keeps it close to you and is tiring and futile. If you were to let go the ball, it would pop up, float on the surface near you and you probably wouldn't like it. But if you let it float there for a while, with your hands off, it would enventually drift away and out of your life. And even if it didn't, at least you'd be better able to enjoy your swim rather than spending your time fighting!

I hope you find this is helpful.

This metaphor can be used as a vehicle for meditation/mindfulness practice or in therapeutic conversation with a client. 

Thoughts and feelings come into our awareness. They create ripples - other thoughts and feelings. We don't like "bad" thoughts and feelings, so we bat at them.

We interfere by splashing around. The droplet of (a"negative" thought or feeling) comes in and we can choose to observe it, or meddle with it. What is it like to stop splashing? To let the droplet come, the ripples happen, and let them naturally subside. 

If you have feedback, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this metaphor: anna@moodtreatmentcenter.com. Clients tend to come up with some brilliant ways of making this their own!

This metaphor resulted from my work with the owner of a small business. I found it useful with other clients too.

Picture your thoughts as sales representatives. Some of them aren't really gifted for that job. You just tell them you are not interested or you are busy right now and they will apologize for having disturbed you and never bother you again.

But then there are the tough guys. If you refuse to give them an appointment in your office, they will pop up on the parking lot when you are going back to your car or even around your house wenn you are mowing the lawn and put their open briefcase under your nose with those fantastic products they want to sell you. Your life is becoming a hassle, you need to spend more and more time trying to escape them. Instead of doing productive work, you spend most of your time at the office door trying to get rid of them. Maybe it's easier to let them in, listen to what they want to tell you, thank them for coming and let them go... After all, you are the boss : It's up to you to decide which product you'll buy.

I sometimes add: And maybe one or the other of all these products they advertise could be a good business opportunity?

I've always liked this - Comment submitted by joshua.zurba on December 14, 2017.

I've always liked this metaphor. It makes sense, the mind is trying to hook you and suck you in the same way a salesperson can. To build a bit of self-compassion, I might also say the salesperson might have good intentions (e.g. the mind telling you you should drink to get rid of your anxiety is trying to release you from feeling pain) but that maybe they're not selling the most helpful products. In later sessions you can bring this metaphor back: "There's your salesperson mind trying to sell you a thought again. If you buy this thought, how much will it cost you?" Obviously cost in this sense isn't monetary, so I love the play on words.

YouTube Video - Comment submitted by LauraAnn on October 12, 2020.

Thoughts as Sales Representatives - an Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Metaphor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyzwCZ1fAS0&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3my7JO4eSEIio4uvfZ90vaP3muDNHo1vh7YbaixkGnQH7yTHwwUZbMpMc

Esta metáfora me sirvió para trabajar con la pareja de una mujer con desregulación emocional diagnosticada con TDAH. Lo que más obstaculizaba la colaboración de la pareja en la terapia era la idea de “cómo vamos a invertir tantos recursos en algo que debería ser mucho más fácil??”. Me contás si te sirvió a vos y para qué? (azul.borga@mi.unc.edu.ar) Acá va la metáfora… 

Imaginate que tus padres son franceses y cuando eras niño te enviaron a un colegio francés y además te hablaban en francés dentro de la casa. Pero la situación de ella fue distinta. Sus papás eran de Venezuela, así que hablan en español, y aunque vivían en Francia, la mandaron a un colegio en español. Ella creció y todas sus parejas anteriores entednpian español así que no hubo grandes inconvenientes. Hasta que un día se enamora de vos, y realmente quiere poder estar cerca tuyo pero resulta que no sabe hablar francés. Así que vos le decís “cómo no vas a saber hablar francés? Todos saben hablar francés, mirá fulanito sabe hablar francés, pepito también sabe. Así no nos podemos comunicar, además no podés ni ir a comprar a un kiosko, no podes leer un cartel en la calle, no podes comprarte un libro para leer, no podes hacer nada si no sabés hablar francés.” Ella está de acuerdo con vos, al fin y al cabo no le es nada fácil vivir en Francia sin poder hablar el idioma. Entonces, no sería lógico que aparezca algo de enojo hacia sus padres por no haberle enseñado francés de niña como hicieron todos los otros padres? A los 30 años es mucho más difícil aprender un idioma de cero. Entonces ella te dice, “bueno voy a empezar clases de francés, pero mientras tanto, podemos usar un traductor para comunicarnos, no?” Vos decís: “qué locura usar un traductor cada vez que querramos hablar! Eso no es normal, ninguna pareja que conozco hace eso, todos hablan y listo, no puede ser tan difícil, ya debería estar resuelto esto hace rato” El traductor representaría por ejemplo: tener charlas difíciles sólo mientras ella va camino al trabajo porque suele estar más regulada que cuando está en la casa, o usar negociaciones en vez de reclamos cuando algo de ella no le gusta, o notar cuando la discusión está escalando y frenar para respirar juntos, entre otras cosas. Acordamos en que sí, quizás sea raro usar un traductor para hablar, pero es una herramienta momentánea hasta que avance con sus clases de francés y cada vez lo necesite menos. Qué crees que ayudaría más, que cada vez que la veas le digas “todavía no sabes francés? ya deberías saberlo es re fácil” o que cuando estén juntos en la casa le enseñes palabras o que le ayudes a hacer la tarea, o que se sienten juntos a ver una película en frances? Él entendía la metáfora, aunque rápidamente volvía las mil situaciones donde ella fallaba por no saber francés (situaciones donde se desregulaba y reaccionaba de forma agresiva). Reconocimos que estábamos redundando en algo que ya sabíamos, que era un hecho, ella efectivamente no sabía hablar francés, pero seguir quejándonos de que ella no sabe hablar francés no nos estaba ayudando a que lo aprenda. Así que la primera tarea fue intentar reconocer cuándo estaba reclamándole que no sabe francés y cuándo estaba buscando ayudarla a aprender o buscando traductores para poder comunicarse con ella. Al reconocer la cantidad de tiempo que pasaba reclamándole que no sabe francés y lo poco que ayudaba eso a que aprenda el idioma, nos propusimos juntos buscar formas de ayudarla con sus clases de francés. Y aclaramos: Sí, no es una tarea fácil, va a haber días que vas a estar con más energía para ayudarle a hacer la tarea y otros que no tanto, y está bien, pero los días que no estás con ánimos de ayudar a hacer la tarea al menos intentemos no decirle “qué mal que hablás frances.

Ojalá te sirva!    -Azul Borga

Quoted from Twohig, M. (2004). ACT for OCD: Abbreviated Treatment Manual "It’s like you’re in the process of climbing up a big mountain that has lots of dangerous places on it. My job is to watch out for you and shout out directions if I can see places you might slip or hurt yourself. But I’m not able to do this because I’m standing at the top of your mountain, looking down at you. If I’m able to help you climb your mountain, it’s because I’m on my own mountain, just across a valley. I don’t have to know anything about exactly what it feels like to climb your mountain to see where you are about to step, and what might be a better path for you to take."

These are images that may prove useful in the delivery of ACT. They are in PDF format to allow for clear and accurate printing. Individuals are free to use these in their research and practice, but please note that the images are copyright © Steven C. Hayes and are not to be used in commercial publications without written permission. The images come from multiple sources. We will upload this info a little later

This is a metaphor that grew out of working with various clients over the last couple of years and from my own reading. I was thinking of the idea in ACT that clients can get stuck in a place of "things must get better, then I'll get moving". In this sense our clients (and dare I say, often ourselves as well)get stuck on our 'buts'. Sort of like "I know where I want to go but....I have this thing....it must go away or get better before I can do X,Y,Z". So we wait for our problems to leave or change before we can go on our merry way. So much so that chances to actually move in our valued direction may be missed, life passes us by while we wait for things to improve or while we avoid our discomfort.

So before I go on anymore, here is the metaphor I came up with.

"Imagine you are going on a journey. Somewhere really special, where you really want to go, somewhere you've wanted to go your whole life. When you get to the train station you see two trains, one is a bit odd looking and strange, some of the seats look a bit hard and overall it looks a bit dirty and uncomfortable. On the next platform, there is a different train; it's a super train. It looks familiar, safe, reliable, the sort of train an accountant or an insurance sales man might prefer. The sign says it has air conditioning, a cinema, and a fancy all you can eat French restaurant that is free. You think, wow! I just have to take this train, I couldn’t possibly make my journey on that other one, no way! So you wait for this 'great' train to get ready to board and the odd looking train goes on its way. And you wait for the safe train some more and another odd train leaves the station, and another. All the while you are waiting for a chance to board this great reliable train so you can take your journey, as yet another odd looking one leaves. But here is the thing. What if the safe train can't ever board, what if it won't ever leave the station. What if you are waiting for the wrong train?"

Like most process in ACT there is no definitive right time to use this metaphor. It could be discussed like the man in the hole exercise, or I suppose it could be done more experientially, especially if your client has a clear idea of their values and can visualise stuff very clearly. However, I think what I am trying to get at is

1. You know where you want to go in life, what are you prepared to have/experience to get there?

2. If we can't ever have discomfort, where does that leave us?

3. How does waiting for the good ol' predicable train work in terms of actually moving towards our values and goals.

the metaphor was tweaked slightly after sharing it with the listserve for feedback. It was also realised by one person who gave me feedback, that the metaphor may lend it self to further tweaking. Essentially we have 2 trains, one that will help clients move forward that might be difficult and another one that they would rather wait for. It should be possible to alter the descriptions of the 2 opposing trains to better fit our clients difficulties.

So if the metaphor makes sense, if it seems to connect with some of the difficulties your clients are struggling with, then give it a go. If you do though, please feedback on how it went, what they made of it etc.

I work with children mostly between 8 and 13 years of age, many who have autism and struggle to navigate the social world - with dificulties like how to interpret and respond to others, how to frame theirs or others' communication - often they lack context from which to confidently respond and/or react to people.

I do a lot of teaching of flexibility vs. rigid thinking in social and peer situations. In my work I have shared the idea of the willow tree being strong becasue it is flexible and bends in the wind and storms, thus it's indestructable, yet the mighty oak, tall and rigid, can be brought down by a strong wind and a well-placed bolt of lightening, really not very strong ....

Lately I've added a new slant to this wisdom with a Windmill Metaphor.

Think of a windmill, tall, sleek, majestic, especially the modern ones. Not only does a windmill survive a fierce storm, but it most likely LOVES a good strong wind. In fact, the stronger the wind, the more power it generates - and this power is a completely "good power." It makes electricity that we all use, yet in a way that is gentle and does not hurt; it is soft, fluid, quiet (doesn't yell, scream, or cry) it doesn't damage the enviornment or pollute (doesn't punch, kick, or hit ) --- all the windmill needs is the most natural of all elements, the limitless wind (no resistance, only acceptance).

I use the windmill metaphor when working with kids who are being picked on or when they don't know how to respond to someone being mean or nasty. Of course, we all know violence isn't the answer, in fact in the ACT playbook, that which you resist only becomes stronger (think: inner monster/demon or our internal or external tug of war, right?)

In order to beat the monster, one must lay down the rope and stop pulling.

• I feel the windmill image goes a step further: Put down the rope, stop fighting/resisting, and be like a windmill.

The windmill metaphor asks: "How can you use that graceful and limitless energy to give yourself the might and power you need?" In fact, I have come up with an acronym for this:

"WWAWD"? 

Kids like this imagery and they have no problem with the concept. It's simple, we all love windmills, they thrive off of the mightiest winds (bullies, mean people), yet just like a willow tree, they offer up no resistance. In fact, a windmill drawing session could also be easy to produce, drawing with the client a series of windmills while envisioning the quiet and confident power they hold for us.

- They just turn, and turn, and turn -

- Graceful, with no extra effort -

- Soft and yeilding, yet tall and strong -

I've found this metaphor useful in values work and as a defusion exercise. Janet Wingrove's feedback (thank you Janet!) helped me to improve the wording.

Picture your life as a movie. The first episodes are already shot. (Here I usually summarize what I know of the – usually difficult – salient moments of the clients life). Now the movie is going on. Imagine you are the director and you can direct an actor that plays your part. But you're a special kind of director with a limited power. You can't go to the screenplay writer and ask him to change the life events happening to you or direct the other characters to act like you'd want them to do. The only actor you can have an influence on is the one playing your part. You can have him/her play exactly like the person you dream to be. Figure out how you would want him/her to act, in that precise situation you are experiencing now. How would you instruct the actor to act if you want the continuation of the movie to resemble what you would like your life to be, or to show the father / spouse / colleague / etc. you would like to be?

This metaphor has multiple sources.

(1) Doing values work with clients, I tried the tombstone exercise and the funeral exercise and had the feeling they didn't really ring a bell. It seemed to me that people understood them as one more appeal to pliance, to being a «good boy» or «good girl».

(2) I found an idea of Dan Millman interesting : «When I refer to practicing "everyday enlightenment," I'm speaking about actually consciously asking, "How would an enlightened being act in this moment?"—and then acting that way.»

(3) Alexandre Jollien is affected by a severe form of cerebral palsy due to birth damage and had to face the trauma of being separated from his parents at the age of 3 and raised in a faciltiy for disabled children. He finally made it to a degree in philosophy and published two books the title of which can be translated as «In praise of weakness» and «The trade of becoming a human being». He's now married and father of a young child. He explains in his crippled voice how the ancient greek philosophers have taught him that one could sculpt one's life in order to do a work of art out of it.

(4) This connected with Viktor Frankl's suggestion to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. And with the bus driver metaphor, each question of life being a new crossroad, a new opportunitiy to drive the bus in a valued direction. The reels of the past episodes come with us. I remember Frankl said that, in a novel or in a movie, it is sometimes what happens at the very end that gives a new meaning to the whole story.

The recalling of this metaphor in some difficult situations sometimes helped me to defuse of some tricky contents and to steer the course dear to me. I had the feeling it was less felt as pliance inducing by clients as the funeral and tombstone exercises. They sometimes answered to it with statements like «I would want him (her) to stay cool, to think positively etc.» which set the occasion for one more round of creative hopelessness work.

What I'm mainly afraid of is that the metaphor could be fueling self-accusations in all the cases where the passengers succeed in having the bus driven in the direction they want life to proceed.

I'm still interested in and grateful for any feedback

ACT for the Public - Free Videos: Learning About and Applying ACT

• Chessboard
• Demons on the Boat (Joe Oliver)
• Passengers on the Bus (Oliver, Christodoulou, & Whitfield)
• Tug of war with a Monster (Louise Gardner - Your ACT Auntie Series)
• The Unwanted Party Guest (Joe Oliver)
• New animation of the Chessboard metaphor (Russ Harris)

More Videos

• Les Passagers du Bus | Choisissez l'aventure qui est la vôtre: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjIYp-46zc