This is all open to feedback, of course, as I am never sure I have this stuff quite right. But then again, it's only a bunch of thoughts, so don't believe me anyway.
Somehow this self stuff reminded me of a recent interview with Clint Eastwood (paraphrased from memory) --
- Int: So, we've talked a lot about what your critics think of you and your work, what your wife and ex-wives and children think. I have to ask, what do you think about Clint Eastwood?
- CE: I tend not to think about him very much.
- When I am x and I and my community do much better when I am x, I am pretty invested in remaining x, because if I act as Y there are consequences
- Our history has taught us to see and maintain patterns.
- We have equivalency statements that may not be equivalent "I am 5'10" (maybe 9") becomes the same as "I am alcoholic."
- If I try to act outside of "who I think I am," it seems almost life (or self?) threatening. Note: I wonder about this with the "guys" I work with. Many are domestic violence offenders, and even though their physicality is usually not threatened, many lash out when their sense of "self" is threatened, the "manly man syndrome." OR "Eliminate conceptualization = eliminate me."