Acceptance and Commitment Song - Lou Lasprugato

Lyrics: 

There's suffering when you run away from pain
Expecting change but doing more of the same
And it's a long way down when your mind pushes you around

Open up
Open up
Step into this space
See what you need to face
To get through
To get through
What matters to you
What matters to you

It's hard when love's all but lost
And your best is not good enough
And you fill with fear when you're anywhere but here

Open up
Open up
Step into this space
See what you need to face
To get through
To get through
What matters to you
What matters to you

As you move
As you sway
In the eye of the storm
In the depths of the pain
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice hurt?
Will you let it be?
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice love?
Will you let it be?
And breathe... 

ACT Principle: Creative Hopelessness and missing out on Values

Any recommendations on how to use the song : A fellow ACT therapist used hits during one of the first sessions of an Anger group.

Here's the lyrics:
Somethin’ gotta give with the way I’m livin’
Seems I’m gettin’ down everyday
The more I strive, the less I’m alive
And seems i’m gettin’ further away

Oh well all my superstitions and my crazy suspicions
Of the people that I care about
I been doin’ more screamin’ than i been doin’ dreamin’
And I think it’s time I figured it out

Yeah baby I need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

I been goin’ joggin’ in the park after dark
Draggin’ ’round with me my ball and chain
Took southern skies to make me realize
That I’m causin’ myself this pain

The woman that I’m lovin’ yeah I’m pushin’ and shovin’
Getting further on by the day
And I can’t understand how the heart of this man
Ever let it end up this way

Yeah baby I need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

When the road gest dark and lonesome dear
You can find me here
But honey you don’t know where I am
You need a friieend yeeaahh
Life ain’t easy in fact I know it’s sleazy
When you’re the big man in town
Shakin’ religions and makin’ decisions
You never get slow on down

Well your wife and your baby you tell them yeah well maybe
I’ll meet y’all at a weekend resort
Put your eyes on the prize and you can realize
Your little girl’s life’s so short

Brother you need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand
Yeah sister you need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

Hey, you better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down, yeah
You better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down

Submitted by Catherine B. Clemmer, MSW, LCSW

Commited action, Values

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out Songtext
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
and if you want to be free, be free
'cause there's a miilion things to be
you know that there are.

And if you want to live high, live high
and if you want to live low, live low
'cause there's a million ways to go
you now that there are.

You can do what you want
the opportunity's on
and if you find a new way
you can do it today
you will make it all true
and you can make it undo
you see ah ah, it's easy ah ah,
you only need to know.

Well, if you want to say yes, say yes
and if you want to say no, say no
'cause there's a million ways to go
you know that there are

Ansd if you want to be me, be me
and if you want to be you, be you
'cause there's a million things to do
you know that there are.

You can do what you want
the opportunity's on
and if you find a new way
you can do it today
you will make it all true
and you can make it undo
you see ah ah, it's easy ah ah,
you only need to know.

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
and if you want to be free, be free
'cause there' s a million things to be
you know that there are
you know that there are
you know that there are
you know that there are.

Originally submitted by Nick Frye

I think this song is such as great description of cognitive fusion and could be used to help explain that concept as well as using the lyrics "ghosts appear then fade away" as a great to discuss defusion.

"Overkill"

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know we'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations that
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

Hi,

Great idea!

I haven't used this with clients, but I've always thought the song "Drive" by Incubus is very ACT consistent.

Here's the first verse: "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel."

Could be used in conjunction with the monsters-on-the-bus exercise, or any number of exercises that focus on avoidance.

Mary

Acceptance and commited action (*there is just one unfortunate limitation in the song, which is the sentence "I hold back tears" - it is not ACT-conform)

Move in the Right Direction
Gossip

One step closer, I'm feeling fine
Getting better one day at a time
I'm moving forward with all of my might
I'm headed toward a new state of mind

So I hold back tears*
Move in the right direction
Face my fears
Move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh

Motivation of powerful strength
Hesitation was my first instinct
I got the notion my weakness was
Total devotion, it's okay because

I will hold back tears*
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh

Keeping my head up
Looking forward
Reminiscing will get you nowhere
Never say never
Starting over
It's not perfect, but it's getting closer

I'll hold back tears*
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh

 

This song is about being in the present moment and recognizing what you have control over and what you don't have control over.  It is also about not being "hooked" by your thoughts.

This song is great at illustrating how a woman was using emotional avoidance to escape from emotional pain.  She eventually realizes that she needs to face her emotions and her issues directly she needs to come towards them rather than run from them.  She chooses to engage in committed action by returning to L.A. After she has this realization, her emotional pain subsides.

a great song about acceptance (and of course because its sung, it is defusion as well)

"Life Is Hard"

Life is beauty through and through
Life is sunny, life is cool
Life is even easy too
But if my word is to be true
Life is something to behold
But if the truth is to be told
Let us not leave out any part
Do not fear, it's safe to say it here
You will not be called a weakling nor a fraud
For feeling the pain of the whole wide world
You want to help but can't help the feeling you cannot
And it's killing you while you're just trying to smile from your heart
So go on, say it, on the same knees you're praying
Yes, life is hard

Come celebrate
Life is hard
Come celebrate Life is hard
Our life is all we are

Celebrate it in the sun, promenade it with everyone
Elevate it in a song
And I'll be there to play it, don't get me wrong
When I feel like dying and being gone
When life is hard
There's just one thing, let's not forget
Yes! life is it!
Life is it, life is it, it's where it's at
It's getting skinny, getting fat
It's falling deep into a love,
It's getting crushed just like a bug
Life there's no love, it's getting beat into the ground
It's getting lost and getting found,
To growing up and getting round
It's feeling silence, feeling sound
It's feeling lonely, feeling full
It's feeling oh so beautiful!
Yes!

Come celebrate
Life is hard
Come celebrate
Life is hard
Our life is all we are

This song demonstrates the concepts of Acceptance, Being Present, Defusion, and Self As Context 

 

I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can’t escape the gravity

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

You say that I'm paranoid
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me
It's not like I make the choice
To let my mind stay so fucking messy
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything’s about me

Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?

Good song for diffusion - especially if you sing it :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p53pDNodxHE

Song: Live Like You were Dying--Tim McGraw 

 

ACT concepts: Mindfulness/Awareness:

"...and I watched an eagle as it was flying"

 

Values:

"and I loved deeper

and I spoke sweeter

and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying

and he said someday I hope you get the chance

to live like you were dying

He said I was finally the husband

that most the time I wasn't

and I became a friend

a friend would like to have

and all the sudden going fishin

wasn't such an imposition

and I went three times

that year I lost my dad"

 

Again, not sure how to use this in therapy, but pretty ACT consistent.

ACT Principle(s): Acceptance, Committed Action

Recommendations On Use: I have not used this song clinically yet. I'm a trainee, and have hesitated based on (1) the blatant (though effective) use of a top 7 swear word, and (2) the VERY pop-punk sound, which I happen to love, but recognize many people find grating. That being said, as a clinician working with young adults with SUDs in various stages of readiness to change their substance use, it feels particularly fitting.  I may bring it to a second-year practicum in my role as an advanced student supervisor first.

Lyrics:

I don't know what we're doing this for
Say we're getting better while we're passed out on the floor
And then we find a way to forget through the years
We wish the bad parts would just disappear
But they're not going anywhere
We're not going any-
Where

I wish I could tell you why I
Have this need to get the hell out before I die.
I'm not kidding myself that it's different somewhere else
Guess I just want to try and find new faces who don't want to just forget
Instead of lubing up the awkward parts
They want to break their fucking habits.

It's time
We stop saying why
And make it fucking happen
And make something happen
No, no

Hannah told me she's unhappy all the time she's been in school
But she does it anyway
Hey, Christina does it too
And Sarah told me her relationship was making her blue
But she takes what she can get
And when she can forget
The things he called her last night
She knows he's heaven-sent.

It's time
We stop saying why
And make it fucking happen
And make something happen
No, no

Nickelback- If today was your last day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtlsyifVaMI

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
(If today was your last day)

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Fusion; the song (and the video) illustrates rigid rule-governed behavior and its costs, like the lack of and longing for vitality. 

Always on this line

As the day turns to night
under these suburban skies
think of all willing lies, of cutting ties,
the emptiness,

At first light, first sight,
the world seems like a miracle,
but try to hold it in your hands
and watch it get away,
oh the ugliness of fate,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line

But it's alright, it's okay,
when there's excuses in your way,
you can try, just make it up,
settle down but don't look up,

At first bite, first lie,
the world seems like it serves you well,
but try to catch it in your hands,
treating it like a slave of the emptiness you crave,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line,

Oh, it might be unkind of me to make you feel bad,
it might be a shame of me to treat you like that,
when there's everything you've worked for in your life,
on this line,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line

It's beautiful and the lyrics are very ACT consistent.

 

The Competition - Kimya Dawson

ACT Principle: Acceptance This song is great for helping people grasp the concepts of acceptance and willingness in the midst of strong emotions and unhelpful thoughts. Popular with adolescents and younger generation clients (especially those who have seen the film Juno and may be familiar with other songs by Kimya Dawson). 

Click for the lyrics.

a song that problematizes fusion and thereby creates defusion :)

Monkeyboy - The Hellacopters

I got an ape performing in my head
If he don't stop then I will soon be dead

This monkey's no friend of mine
I try to act straight but he's on cloud number nine
He's got a cup made of tin
And it's 'cause of him you won't let me in

He bangs a drum so I can't get no sleep
Well he's a monkey but he can't be beat

Head over heels on banana peel
I'm getting confused as to what I feel
And every time I try to speak
He always puts his monkeytongue in my cheek

Oh, my, my - I'd do anything to make him die
And oh then I'd see there's nothing I can do
The monkey's just a part of me

I got a monkey singing in my brain
I should have known already we're the same

Oh, my, my - I'd do anything to make him die
And oh then I'd see there's nothing I can do
The monkey's just a part of me

Great album and song title by Chip Taylor and Carrie Rodriques The Trouble With Humans states, "I don't want to talk it-I just want to feel it." The song continues: The trouble with humans-is they're only human The Trouble with trouble-is it's always at hand But if we don't look around it-if we look right on through it We'll find the power-together we'll stand

Originally submitted by Deborah Stringer

The song "turn it off" from the musical "book of mormon" is a satirical tap number about the unworkability of the control agenda. It was written by the same folks who do South Park, so, as you might expect, it's not for all clients or clinicians. The lyrics are below:

The Book of Mormon lyrics: Turn it Off
I got a feeling that you could be feeling
A whole lot better than you feel today
You say you got a problem, well that's no problem
It's super easy not to feel that way
When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head
Don't feel those feelings hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch
Just go click
It's a cool little Mormon trick
We do it all the time
When you're feeling certain feelings
That just don't seem right
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
And turn em off like a light switch
Just go bap
Really what's so hard about that?
Turn it off
Turn it off

When I was young my dad would treat my mom real bad
Every time the Utah Jazz would lose
He'd start a-drinking and I'd start a-thinking
How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused
I'd see her all scared and my soul was dyin'
My dad would say to me now don't you dare start cryin'
Turn it off
Like a light switch
Just go flick
It's our nifty little Mormon trick
Turn it off
Turn it off

My sister was a dancer but she got cancer
The doctor said she still had two months more
I thought she had time so I got in line
For the new iPhone at the apple store
She laid there dying with my father and mother
Her very last words were where is my brother
Turn it off
Bid those sad feelings adieu
The fear that I might get cancer too

When I was in fifth grade I had a friend Steve Blade
He and I were close as two friends could be
One thing led to another and soon I would discover
I was having really strange feelings for Steve
I thought about us on a deserted island
We'd swim naked in the sea and then he'd try and...
Whoa!
Turn it off like a light switch
There it's gone (good for you!)
My hetero side just won
I'm all better now
Boys should be with girls that's heavenly father's plan
So if you ever feel you'd rather be with a man
Turn it off

Well, Elder McKinley, I think it's okay that you're having gay thoughts
Just so long as you never act upon them

No – cause then you're just keeping it down
Like a dimmer switch
On low (on low)
Thinking nobody needs to know (uh oh)
But that's not true
Being gay is bad but lying is worse
So just realize you have a curable curse
And turn it off
Turn it off

(Tap dancing! With red sparkly vests!)

Turn it off
Now how do you feel?
The same (ahw)
Then you've only got yourself to blame
You didn't pretend hard enough
Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes
Then find the box that's gay and crush it!
Okay?
No, no I'm not having gay thoughts
Alright! It worked! Yay!
Turn it off
Turn it off, turn it off
Turn it off, turn it off like a light switch
Just go click (click, click)
What a cool little Mormon trick (trick, trick)
We do it all the time
When you're feeling certain feelings that just don't seem right (don't seem right)
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
Turn it off like a light switch on a cord
Now he isn't gay any...
Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it
Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it
Turn it
Turn it off (off!)

For a great example of someone dignifying their values with pain, I can whole-heartedly recommend the autobiography "Things the grandchildren should know" by Mark Everett (Lead singer Eels).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Things_the_Grandchildren_Should_Know

His songs also hint at vital living: -----------------------------------------------------

Hey Man (Now You're Really Living):

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?

Cry your guts out till you got no more

Hey man, now you're really living

 

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl?

Made you feel like it's not such a bad world

Hey man, now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything

And you're really gettin' what you gave

Now you're really livin' what this life is all about

Well, I just saw the sun rise over the hill

Never used to give me much of a thrill

But, hey man, now I'm really living

 

Do you know what it's like to care too much?

About someone that you're never gonna get to touch

Hey man, now you're really living

 

Have you ever sat down in the fresh-cut grass

And thought about the moment and when it will pass

Hey man, now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything

And you're really gettin' what you gave

Now you're really livin' what this life is all about

 

Now, what would you say if I told you that

Everyone thinks you're a crazy old cat 

Hey man, now you're really living

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?

Cry your guts out till you got no more

Hey man, now you're really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl?

Made you feel like it's not such a bad world

Hey man, now you're really living...

----------------------------------------------

P.S. You rock my world:

I was at a funeral the day i realized

I wanted to spend my life with you

Sitting down on the steps at the old post office

The flag was flying at half-mast

And I was thinkin' 'bout how everyone is dying

And maybe it's time to live

I don't know where we're going

I don't know what we'll do

Walked into the thrif-tee

Saw the man with the hollow eyes

who didn't give me all my change

But it didn't bother me this time

'cause I know I've only got this moment

And it's good

 

I went to the gas station

Old woman honked her horn

Waiting for me to fix her car

I don't know where we're going

I don't know what we'll do

Laying in bed tonight

I was thinking and listening to

all the dogs and the sirens and the shots

And how a careful man tries to dodge the bullets

While a happy man takes a walk

And maybe it's time to live ----------------------------------------------------

18 Song lyrics that cover a broad range of ACT concepts...Here are some ACT themes covered by various songs. See the attached file for the actual lyrics (note, some of them are abridged):

Suffering is Universal:

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts

TOAD THE WET SPROCKET - Little Buddha 

The Problem:

RADIOHEAD - Fitter Happier

NADA SURF - Stalemate

SUPREME BEINGS OF LEISURE - What's the Deal

Acceptance:

THE BEATLES - Let it Be

JAMES BROWN - Mind Power

NITIN SAWHNEY - Letting Go

Mindfulness:

MEREDITH MONK - Walking Song (no lyrics, just breathing)

Self as Context:

AKRON/FAMILY - Franny/You're Human

NINE INCH NAILS - Only T.REX - Cosmic Dancer

Values:

ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN - What are you Going to do with Your Life?

LIONEL RITCHIE - Time

TIM MCGRAW - Live Life Like You were Dying

Willingness:

DURAN DURAN - Finest Hour

SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE - Stand!

FRANK SINATRA - My Way

This song is called Walk Unafraid, it was originally made by R.E.M and then covered by First Aid Kit for the recent move Wild. I like this because it's about encouraging someone to be willing to make a change, sitting with (or carrying) negative emotion or pain. This is especially in the lines

'If I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over'

As I see it, this song is about willingness to walk unafraid even in the presence of fear and doubt. The person may be clumsy and fall and trip but she will pick herself up and carry on. Expanding the opportunities open to her and holding her head high. 

As the sun comes up, as the moon goes down
These heavy notions creep around

It makes me think, long ago
I was brought into this life, a little lamb
A little lamb
Courageous, stumbling
Fearless was my middle name
But somewhere there I lost my way
Everyone walks the same
Expecting me to step
The narrow path they've laid
They claim to

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Verse 2]
Say "keep within the boundaries if you want to play"
Say "contradiction only makes it harder"
How can I be
What I want to be
When all I want to do is strip away
These stilled constraints
And crush this charade
Shred this sad masquerade
I don't need no persuading
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Verse 3]
If I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over
I'm prepared to look you in the eye
Look me in the eye
And if you see familiarity
Then celebrate the contradiction
Help me when I fall to

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Chorus]
I will walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Outro]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey